Another Weissman

Chapter Five

     "I can't believe this, I can't believe this! We're in jail!" Midge is having a bit of a meltdown right now, as most people who live in the upper West Side would. Granted, I grew up there but I've also been living downtown for several years now and had my fair share of arrests, mainly for homosexual acts but a couple for disorderly and drunken disorderly conduct.

     "Oh, calm your tits, sis. It's not a big deal. We got arrested, so what? Someone will bail us out, we'll pay us back, and we'll go home." Despite my words, she continues pacing in her cell.

     A few minutes pass and Midge calms herself down enough to sit. Midge and I sit in one cell and soon enough we start chatting away, making jokes as I cheer her up.

     The door slams open and a harsh female voice calls out, "Miriam Maisel and Analiese Weissman. Your bail had been posted. Follow me." The guard I knew as Judy leads us to gather our belongings, Midge accidentally receives another woman's shoes, and we head out the door to the lobby.

     Susie looks as if she had been resting peacefully on the bench, it almost made me feel guilty when she jolted awake and turned to us.

     "Thanks, Judy," Susie and I call to her, and I continue, "It was good seeing you again, Judester."
Midge asks, in a hesitant voice, "You bailed us out?"

     "My good deed for the year. You two get chick raped?"

     Midge responds with an, "I don't think so," while I mutter "Who says it was rape?" under my breath. However, both of them heard. Susie shoots me a knowing and almost amused look while Midge simply looks repulsed at the idea of having sex with another inmate. They both know about my sexual preferences, hell Susie's bailed me out more times than I can count for it, and luckily they are both very understanding. Susie was almost immediately supportive, whereas it took Midge longer to adjust which is natural considering our upbringing. I was very lucky to be given these people and have the relationships I have.

     "Here," Susie says, deciding to ignore my statement, instead tossing me my coat and helping Midge put hers on.

     "It's still night out." Anyone can see that Midge is quite shell-shocked by this whole situation.

     "No shit, what gave it away?" At this point I can feel a headache coming on as I sober up, and while I hadn't been that drunk to begin with I always got the worst hangovers.

     "I feel different."

     "You two were in there twenty minutes."

     "Twenty minutes can change you," Midge observes being her melodramatic self.

     "Not really."

     "I'm a con now, Ana's a con now."

     "Not quite."

     "I've been a 'con' thank you," I mock using my fingers for air quotes.

     "I've got a rap sheet."

     "No, you don't."

     "I'm hard. I'm a hard, used woman. Is my hair gray?"

     "No, it's not," Susie goes back and forth, obviously disinterested in Midge's overreaction. I, however, find it quite amusing and chuckle as I follow leisurely behind the two.

     "It feels gray," Midge keeps up.

     "Jesus Christ," Susie snaps.

     "I had it all. I had everything I'd always wanted, and now it's all falling apart."