Until I find you

Tell me when

I sit on some swings at the park and rock back and forth. Shawn stood behind me on his phone. "Why are we here again?" He asks. "I used to come here when I was feeling upset." I say not looking at him. "Are you upset?"

"Yeah."

"About what?"

"I don't feel like talking about it."

"Well, you can tell me anything, I thought friends didn't keep secrets from each other."

"We have benefits Shawn sometimes you can't tell most friends anything...like truth wise." I hint with caution. I didn't want Shawn to catch on too quickly.

"You're acting oddly mature," He puts his hands on my shoulders.

"It kinda turns me on."

"Well turn off...I'm not in the mood." I cross my arms. "Why are do you sound mad at me?" I look back t him. "I'm not mad, I'm just...look the past month has been kind of hard, and not everything has been easy."

"Nothing is easy Vaya...it's life." He sits on the swing next to me.  

"So where are you taking me later...I don't mean to change the subject I just don't want to talk about this."

"Its a surprise."

"You keep saying that come on tell me."

"All you need to know is that it's a date."

"Oh so we're dating now?" I smirk.

"Yes, we are no more benefits...no more just friends messing around." He says.

"Okay, then let's go see this surprise."  I get up.

"You can't just rush into it, like that we need to do some shopping first." He says. "Shopping?"

"Where we're going you need to look the part." He stands up and holds my hand.

"Shawn, now I'm really curious." I swing our linked hands back and forth. "Come on."

Shawn bought this red mini dress that I've my eyes on for the past week. He's so nice. We go back to his house to get ready. I put on the dress, it had lace on the skirt and the top was strapless. I straighten my hair, and put on my hoop earrings, and black heels. "You're taking forever Vay." I hear Shawn call from the kitchen. "Well, it takes time to look nice Shawn." I call from the bathroom. "Okay, but the more time we spend here the less time we spend there." He. I walk out and Shawn drops his plastic cup. "Whoa." He says. "Save your whoa's for later..." I lightly kiss him. "I wanna see the surprise."

We head to a fancy restaurant down the street. Shawn new almost all the employees. A chef leads us to the roof. It was so beautiful. There were lights strung together. A table was set up in the middle, with candles, and plates. There was also a violinist. I turn around and see Shawn holding a white rose. "How did you know I liked roses?" I ask taking the rose. "I know you, and roses are kinda your thing." He shrugs.

"Shawn this is beautiful...thank you." I hug him. He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek.

We eat and talk as the violinist plays. "So how did you afford this? Especially on  the roof." I say.

"I used to come here all the time as a kid. The owner knows my uncle."

"This is so nice." I look around again. "I wanted our first date to be nice." He drinks his water. "So, what are we doing after this?"

"I was thinking we could walk around the docks a little bit. Look up at the stars." I smile.

Afterward we do just that. We sit on the dock, and let our feet dangle. We took off our shoes and our feet touch the water. I hold Shawn's hand, and rest my head on his shoulder. "Now this is a perfect first date." I say.

"You know what will make it better." He puts his hand on my thigh. I know exactly what he wants and he's not getting any. "Off limits." I say. "I'm just kidding." He laughs. I keep thinking about Mackenzie's words "So did he screw you yet?" Those words just echo in my head. "Are you okay? You seem to have a lot on your mind." Shawn says. "I'm fine." I look at him. "Just fine." I stare into his eyes and he stares into my mine. They were seductive and turned me on in the weirdest way. "Okay, that's enough staring...I might get ideas." Shawn laughs looking away. I playfully punch him. "Lets go."

We go home, and once I close the door Shawn presses me against it and kisses me. I pull away. "Shawn...sex on the first date can lead to trouble." I say.

"Maybe I want a little trouble." He kissed my neck. "Shawn...nothing good will come out of this...just not tonight okay?" I say walking over to the den. He follows me and takes off his shirt. I take off my dress and go over to the closet. I'm used to Shawn looking at me half naked. I mean it's just like being in a swimsuit right?

Shawn hugs me from behind, and kisses my shoulder. "I just want you so badly." I turn around and kiss him. The feels like the kiss lasted forever. He sits on the bed, and I I sit on his lap still kissing him. "I thought you said nothing good will come out of this." He stops kissing me. "I know, but I want you too."

"Okay," He kisses me and lays backwards. He rolls me on my back and was now on top of me. "Tell me when to stop." He kisses me some more. I think about Mackenzie's words again. "So did he screw you yet?" I can't believe I'm doing this. No, I can't let her get into my head. "What's wrong?" Shawn stops kissing me.

"Nothing...just be gentle Shawn."

"I will never hurt you." The rest of the night was a blur.