Sex Lessons ; Zayn AU (Editing)

Chapter 46

(Damn guys my friend just told me that if I'll kill myself that she will kill herself too! What am I supposed to do now?)

I see every single thing. I see his perfect styled hair. His pink plump lips. His perfect jawline. His slighlty red cheeks. His nose with a slightly red tip. The fresh snow in his hair and eye lashes but most of all his brown eyes who shine but still less than they used to. To make a long story short he looks perfect. Perfect without me.
"Gotta go" Louis says taking the ice cream from me. "Our ice is melting" he adds as making up an exuse. "Put in on Zayn's hart it will freeze immediately" I say feeling so much hate towards Zayn.
Niall, Louis and even Zayn laugh a bit but it's all just a giant mess of awkward.
"Okay I have to admit that one was pretty funny" He says and his voice makes me shiver.
"Okay Zayn what do you want" I ask getting to the point. "I wanna talk to you" he says a but too quick. "Then talk" I say. he looks at my brother and Niall and they quickly walk away to god knows where. "Talk" I repeat and cross my arms.
"Listen Ari, and please let me finish. It's not like I don't love you! I still love you with whole my freaking heart! I didin't know you never had a kiss with new year. How was I supposed to know? I mean your fucking beautiful and even thought you don't see I see so many boys looking at you checking you out. And I know I made a mistake choosing Lia above you. I knew I was being a stupid jerk but it didin't stop me and I know it's a little too late but this is everything I didin't say" he says handing me a envelope.
"Damn what song came that from" I say. "Everything I didin't say" he says with an wide grin. I laugh a bit and take the envelope. "Can I hug you before reading this?" I ask him and he opens his arms as reply. I take a quick step towards him and wrap my arms around his torso.
I know I shouldn't do this. I know have to yell at him. Tell him how much I hate him but the heart wants what it wants. Great yet another song.
His arms also wrap around me and we hug for a while. I don't wanna let go. I feel so saved so loved and so strong. After a while I tale a step back and let go. The empty feeling I get is terrible. I do need Zayn. I know I need him but I also know it's stupid to get back to him but something keeps pullig me towards him again.
"Bye" I whisper and look at the ground. "Bye" he says and walks away. Maybe I saw it wrong, maybe it wasn't what I thought but I thought to see wattery eyes. What a man.

"Louis?, Niall?" I hate those boys.

•••

"So why aren't you readin it yet!" Niall says excited. "I don't know maybe it's dissapointing" I say looking at the envelope. Louis gets up and sits down besidese. "Let me read it for you" he says his voice soft and caring but I know he's also curious to know what's inside the letter. "Okay" I say I just don't have the power to read it.
He slowly opens the envelope. I suddenly remember he could have said something about the lessons and start panicing.
"Wait!" I grab the letter from Louis amd he smirks. "I'll read it out loud if it's okay. okay?" Both boys nod. I take the letter from the envelope and start reading it.

Dear Ari,

Maybe we aren't meant to be.
That's what I thought for days. I just knew it wasn't true. We were meant to be. Our love was just a little bruised. We both know we aren't the most sensetive people walking around on this earth. We also know that when it comes to loving eachother we both are scared and we know it's something we need to keep safe.
Well great we did it the wrong way butaybe if you give me a change we could start over again. We could have a bettter start. I know you probably wont believe that I still love you and I know you will probably hate me after this. But I just want you to know that I fucking hate you... With whole my heart.

Zayn

I look at the other boys and burst into tears. I hand them the letter and they start reading it.

"So he says he hate you?" Louis says a bit confused. They don't get it. "Yeah but with whole his heart" I say wiping some tears away. "So he loves you" I nod and Niall sits down by my other side and wraps an arm around me. "That's a good start" he says making me smile. Not a big smile but just a tiny little smile.

Yes, I do still feel hate towards the boy who broke my heart but deep inside I also know he's gonna be the one who's gonna glue it back together.

(Just 2 chapters to go guys (no joke this time) Chapter 50 will be the last)