"𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘". [ON PAUSE.]

━━━━━ ❪ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐏.❫

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙸𝚇𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽.
𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖.

IT WAS GLOOMY, EVERYTHING lost it's glow. Nicholas was in the bathroom in shock when he was back in the same spot, tears running down his hot cheeks. Feeling hopeless.

Calling out for sheyaa and his friends mostly taymor because he knew what to do. Not knowing where they went, crying out and screaming for them. He couldn't leave the bathroom, it had no doors.

"F-Fuck." He said above a whisper, voice broken and small. Looking down at his counter not liking the sight of all his blood then back up at his forearm to see all the new slits he made, not pleasing.

It was like he had no control over his body, he wouldn't have did all of this if he had control. Disappointed. Part of him knew he blacked out for him to put harm on himself. There was a lot of old marks but he made space for new ones, new burn spots. Back with a razor that he didn't need, a lighter too. Relapsing.

As much as he wanted to stop himself from cutting again something inside of him let this progress to see what it would feel like after he did it again, that's why he blacks out. Sounds sick but he had a urge. Old memories and trauma replayed in his mind giving a reason to do this, he didn't have anybody right now. Feeling trapped like he was with jonathan.

Soon as that metal touched his skin he moved it where he felt like it, not really feeling anything other than the slight stinging. Thinking he should stop because it was too much blood, so he stopped and grabbed the lighter.

Releasing a shaky breath when he felt the fire burning into his skin. It wasn't giving him a relief that he thought he needed, he's not gaining anything from this but more pain in the end.

Guilt passing though him he threw the lighter some where in the room. All he had on his mind was sheyaa, thinking he disappointed him by doing this. Thoughts getting the worst of him.

"Shey..." Calling out only to get no reply. Trying his friends too but got the same thing. Mentally exhausted from this, he wanted to get out this.

As if he couldn't break down he definitely was now. Letting those ugly cries out, he desperately felt closed in. Chest heaving up and down fast, breathing getting shallow. Feeling a anxiety attack come on.

"Nicholas?"

"Nicholas?"

"Nick get up!"

"Mamas, wake up!"

Sheyaa continually said, he was tired as hell but woke up to nicholas crying and saying his name. A little disoriented still seeing spots float around the dark room.