Edogon: Arrival #2

Chapter 1: Listless Dreams

I'm on the ramp to the Edogon, leading a small team of crew members that came with me on my expedition back inside. The listless expanse before me full of bright reds, dull grays and muted blues. The wind soft and humid ruffles my dirty blonde hair back as I stare out at yet another planet that did not answer my prayers.

As the last crew member's feet touch down and pass through the ramp's door I turn and follow.

Another planet, another solar system with nothing but disappointment.

I ring my gloves through my hands as I walk past the suit cleaner in the bay before the doors that allow me to access the rest of the ship. I try not to let my dissatisfaction sour my thoughts. It just meant we've crossed another place off our list. It was time to move on, to keep propelling myself forward.

I close my eyes as the sanitation spray settles over my suit. Cleaning away any dust and debris from Tritarious Efflon. I wish all my worries and distress could be taken off my shoulders just as easily.

But it's becoming increasingly harder for me to ignore the stark reality of the situation I'm in. My crew can't keep living off of my hope alone. Since separating from the military we're on our own for everything. And my vision of one day finding Avery again, isn't going to feed them. Or help us put fuel in our tanks. And paid work here and there only goes so far when you're manning a ship of at least 50 crew members.

A beep goes off and I step out from the sanitation corridor, taking my helmet off as I survey the crew members around the hangar. Looking just as conflicted as I feel.

Letting out a deeply funneled sigh of frustration I run my hand through my hair, raking my fingertips through the roots. I can't give up on her, but Herelsia was right... I need to start thinking about what's best for my crew. Perhaps it was time I went off on my own...

As I'm thinking this Corbin walks up to me.

It'd been a month after Avery had disappeared before he'd finally woken up. In the that bleak time of my life, he'd been the one thing I could really feel joyful about. In the months that followed after he found out about everything that had happened, he decided to abandon the military to follow me on my mission.

He stops just before me, crossing his arms as he looks me over. His dark black skin rippling against his muscles at the movement.

I place my helmet under my arm and look back at him.

"What?" I ask. He gives his head a shake.

"I've got something for you, Captain."

My insides flip at the word, still so unused to it. Even after all this time.

It feels wrong, like a jab picking at a still festering wound. I've never felt like I've deserved the title, and I can't help but envision the only woman I know fit to carry it whenever someone calls me it. Corbin knows this, yet despite everything still insists on calling me by my rightful title. Something I wish he and other crew members would let slide. We're no longer part of the military, in my eyes we were all equal now. I may run our missions and hold meetings on our plans. But ultimately I left it up to a group decision.

And because everyone had respected her as much as I did; they decided to go along and keep searching.

Placing my gloves into one hand I place the other hand on my hip.

"What is it?"

Corbin gives me a lopsided smile and motions with his hand for me to follow. As his back turns to me I walk after him.

As we pass the crew members in the hangar, many turn to nod at me as I go. Respect. It was another thing I felt like I was still trying to learn to be the rightful owner of. Had I really done much to earn it? I didn't feel like it, and I wasn't sure I ever would.