𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 | 𝐝𝐨𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧

ship-gu

weeks passed and it was normal for me. what wasn't normal was the fact that dohyun and i haven't talked ever since, just because i avoided talking to him. every time i knew he'll open about something, i'll excuse myself and leave. if i'll see him approaching me in my peripheral vision, i'll leave. and the most suffocating one, when we're eating. i'll catch him glancing at me and i'll just mile at him.

that's what we've been doing for the last few weeks.

and now, 2 weeks before the semester ends. 

im feeling more and more nervous and sad, and i can't even do something about it. i can't help myself avoiding him either.

"you still aren't going to talk?" eunhee snaps while we were eating. bohyun and i glanced at each other and awkwardly coughed. well, bohyun and i were the only one aware of dohyun leaving.

"who?" i ask innocently and glanced at dohyun for a second. eunhee and dongho snorts.

"you two," eunhee points at dohyun and me. i flickered my eyes around the cafeteria, scoffing.

"us?" i sarcastically pointed at us while dohyun was just quietly eating. "we're talking!" i threw my hands up.

"i noticed it too," yoosung whispers while chuckling. i scoff in disbelief and and sighed.

"hey, dohyun!" i snap, "tell them we're actually talking!" i furrowed my eyebrows at him but he only gave me a blank stare.

"that's the first time you talked to me after three weeks though," he betrays. i scoff once again and slumped in my seat, eating in fast manner.

"see? isn't that what you call avoiding?" dongho chuckles before taking a bite of his steamed bun.

"hey, isn't that normal? what's avoiding there? three weeks is a short time," i explained while they just laugh at me. "watch me do it normally for the both of you." i glared at eunhee and dongho who fist bumped.

---

"where are we going?!" i used my feet as a brake while eunhee and dongho forcefully push me to who knows where. at a far distance, i see bohyun and yoosung standing beside a door, pushing it.

"you'll know! god, you're so heavy." dongho then forcibly carried me after i wiggled so much. 

"what the hell," i exclaimed after they stopped in front of yoosung and bohyun. 

"we'll just be outside, don't worry, we won't eavesdrop," eunhee winks and pushes me inside the classroom. my eyes then landed to the only person in the room, quietly sitting on a chair while fiddling with his fingers. i cuss behind my breath and tried pulling the door open, but dongho just peeped at the window with the key to the door.

i quietly stayed on the corner seat, not saying a word and just sighed deeply.

"hyerin," he starts.

"h-huh?" i start to stutter, my heart not being able to cope up.

"can we talk?" 

"we're already talking," i snapped unconsciously, he heaves a deep sigh and walks to the seat beside me. i flinch at the sudden skinship, trying not to panic.

"please," he begged through his eyes and i sighed, surrendering.

"haven't we already talked?"

"let's clear this out, im--,"

"you're sorry you're leaving, you're sorry you unintentionally rejected me, you're sorry fr everything," i said, tears threatening to fall as it blurred my vision. "you're always sorry for everything. i begged you to stay that night, but just that night. now go, leave. that's what you're meant to do anyway." 

"im leaving and you're not going to say anything to me?" he lowly said and hung his head down.

"i already said everything i wanted to say to you."

"that's it?"

"what do you want me to tell you more?" 

"just one more. hyerin, ask me to stay. please," he breathes out and breaks down in front of me, holding my hands tightly together. my lips quivered at the sight of him like that.

"its what you wanted to do, dohyun. why would i keep you from doing it?" i hesitantly said while tears rolled down my eyes. " i don't want to keep you from doing anything you like. dohyun, as you've said, you liked yoosung or years, and its a great opportunity to catch up with her." i smiled at him and held his hand with my other.

"no, no, no," he shakes his head harshly and brings my hand to his face. i cup his face while wiping the tears away.

"whatever makes you happy, dohyun," my lips tremble at what im trying to say. "im happy for you. don't apologize for it." i stand and kiss the crown of his head, leaving him. when i opened the door, everyone was just staring at us apologetically. 

"hyerin, im--," yoosung takes a step closer to me and holds my hand but i cut her off.

"you didn't do anything wrong, okay? don't dare apologize," i whiff, still crying. i pat her arms and left them all there, running to where my feet takes me to although i heard their yells to stop me.

i took a seat on a clean drum, inhaling the fresh air from the rooftop. i feel hot water stream across my face, but even so, i blinked them away. i heard the door creak so i looked at that side to see eunhee and dongho entering with a smile on their face.

"i'll just be here, you guys talk." dongho leans on the wall on the center of the rooftop while eunhee drags another drum beside me.

"if you don't want to talk, don't. we're here just to tell you that we're here for you." eunhee smiles and looks at the sky.

"that night in the hospital, bohyun assisted me to the garden." i start, not glancing at them even though i knew they were intently listening. "after a few minutes, dohyun wanted to talk to me so bohyun left us. he said he wanted to tell me something so i asked him. said he was leaving by the end of the semester with yoosung. after lots of contemplating, i begged him to stay. i confessed even before i knew it, and in a blink of an eye he rejected me. said he liked yoosung all these years and was his dream to study overseas with them. said it was a good chance to catch up with her. so i let him, when i went back to the room, bohyun was the only one there so and i was kinda a mess so," i shrugged all of my tears away and smiled at eunhee. dongho now drags another drum on my other side and sits beside me.

"are you okay?" eunhee asks as she gives me a side hug.

"of course," i smiled her worries away. "i'll get over this after some time." i then held heir hands tightly. "as long as i have the both of you." we shared a group hug while looking at the sky. 

"wait, bohyun isn't going?" dongho asks intently. i nod and asked him why. "that's a relief then, you're comfortable with him and he's a god player for basketball." he chuckles and i smack his head lightly.