Ticci Toby x Reader lemon/fluff

so close to suicide

okay so just in this story pretend ben is like , 5'10 okay , he always feels like a shorty to me and it makE S ME ANGRYSJDFAHG
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she's standing there telling me to kill myself and end my life . i don't even know who she is why would she be saying these things to me. she starts to continuously yell my name . getting closer and closer to my face . " (Y/N) , (Y/N) , (Y/N) "

suddenly everything begins to fade and i see toby standing over me , along with jeff , the elf boy , and slender . once i begin to look around , i face towards slender , acting more worried about me than toby . he walks to me and helps me sit up . " are you okay ? what happened child ?" toby looks at him a bit confused like . "yeah i'm fine , sorry " toby blankly looks at me . " are you sure , you don't feel anything ?" jeff starts to laugh " maybe she's like you , twitchy ." toby turns to look at jeff then back at me . " can you stand up for me ?" he says as he takes his mouth gaurd off and ties it around my eyes . " why are you doing this ?" he helps me up and walks me downstairs , out of the room with jeff , the elf boy and slender sounding like he closed himself in the office room . 

Toby takes me to a hospital like part of the large house and as soon  as we get there , I take off the blindfold and look in the mirror at the doorway and see a large knife , with a handle like jeffs knife in my shoulder . Toby walks to find someone and once he walks off I panic and run out of the house as quietly as possible . I run until I see a lake like thing and sit on a little , poorly build bridge . i look down to the water , seeing how deep it is . i can't swim all that good so anything over 5 feet is bad for me to be in alone . i feel something watching me and try not to panic or act scared . i take my hand to the knife and start to shake it , ater i do that i begin to feel the pain and yelp , but not too loud . i take my shirt and put the cloth around the neck , bunched up into my mouth for me to bite down on . i put my fingers around the knife handle and yank it , but my hand slips and i only get the knife out about half way . i'm sitting there crying , biting down on the cloth feeling like an idiot for runing away from help . i try one more time and rip the knife out , noticing that the tip is bent which probably tore something as i took it out . 

still sitting there with the feeling of someone watching me . i begin to take my shirt off and lay it down on the bridge , setting the knife on top . i then remove my pants and lower myself into the water . " i finally have the chance to do it ." i let go of the bridge and let myself sink down when i hear voices congratuating me for what i've done 'good job , now you can finally be with us and be in peace .' i feel the water get dense , like there's someone behind me , i open my eyes to see a boy with greyish looking skin . he looks up to the surface and leaves to hide . i feel an arm pull me up at an abnormally fast pace . the person lays me on the bridge and checks to see if im awake and okay . i open my eyes . it's the elf boy . why would he save me . my only chance was that . "i understand how you feel but please don't leave us . you mean a lot to toby and i ." he helps me stand and picks me up . and carries me back to the house , with me trying not to cry but i fall . he rubs my back and comforts me as he carries me to toby . " i'm going to take you to your room . and then get toby so no one can see you without clothes ." i nod my head as he opens the door silently , jeff sitting in the living room gets up and asks if im okay repetively . "she's fine , let me get her to her room ." he begins to walk up the stairs " my name is ben by the way , sorry i never porperly introduced myself ."

he gets to my room and opens the door . toby laying on the bed immediately shoots up and walks to ben . "where was she ." ben sets me on the bed as i pull myself back up and runs to toby , holding him tighter than i ever have . "i'm sorry , i'm so sorry ." toby start to rub my back and ben leaves the room and closes the door . " i'm sorry , toby ." he kisses my forehead . " it's okay , don't apoligize sweetheart ." he runs his hand over where the knife was . " you're already scaring ? ben must of put that special medicine shit on your shoulder when he was carying you ." toby begins to take off my bra and underwear , then goes to the closet and grabs some of my clothes when i walk to his clothes and take a pair of his boxers and a large shirt . " i wanna wear your clothes instead ." he chuckles and walks to me , pulling me to sit on the bed with him . " what did you do ?" i turn my head and try to walk away when he takes my arms and keeps me sitting down . " please , i'm worried about you ."

" i tried to drown myself ."

" why would you try to do that ."

"she told me to ."