LONG RUN: Happiness Costs A Lot.

part 3.2

patrick was my first love, we were together for like 20 years.

we were happy then, what hurts me after our talk is that i'm not the one he like to spent his bad days with.

my memories with him was all fun and happy. we were supposed to be the best team, but he chose the option laid infront of him.

he became my friend when we were in first grade, zeke's was his first best friend...

right, zeke was there, he's been there.

my heart beats so fast, if i spent 20years of my life with patrick, then it is the same with zeke.

after patrick left, he stood there for me, he never left me, when i mess up, he will come to pick me up.

when i tried to search for patrick he was there, when i begged patrick's grandma, he was there.

when i drunk too much, he will come to get me.

our last interaction was the night before his flight.

i couldn't even go to his graduation day, did not even come to celebrate when he was the top three in his liscensure exam for civil engineer.

i don't know where did he got all his infos to get me when i messed up but he never missed to get me.

that night, i was already drunk when i took all the shots on our table.

i felt dizzy and tried to walk myself at the restroom and before i could get to the sink, i vomited, in his pants.

he was tapping and rubbing my back and tried to comfort me.

he assisted me to the sink and tied my hair, when i'm done he washed my face and wipe it.

he made me sit at the toilet bowl and wash his pants. the next thing i new was he was driving my car. no one was talking. he parked and get out. he opened the door beside me and waited for me to get out.

i get up and found that i wasn't wearing my heels. i walked barefooted and it was  on his hand when we climb up the elevator.

when i opened the door i saw his luggage on the living room.

he made me sit on my long couch and sat beside me.

he sighed.

"i'm sorry.."he started.

"you are leaving.." i uttered.

"may offer saakin sa dubai." he answered.

everyone's leaving.

he cupped my face and told me the things i should always remember.

"aalis na ako bukas pia, i want you to pick yourself up. bukas kung magbabar ka, hindi na ulit kita masusundo, kaya sana, it's time to let go. it's been a year. don't be too hard on yourself. Madami pang nagmamahal sayo at naghihintay sa pagbabalik mo, andito pa kami, you need to build what's loss and even if i want to do it, i can't do that for you. be strong" he wipe my tears.

"i'm sorry...sorry pia" he said and hugged me. i resisted and pushed him.

"you're leaving!" i shouted at him. tears keep on rolling down. he tried to touch me but i pushed him.

"pia.. i'm sorry"

"you said you won't leave, remember? you promised! why is everyone leaving? masama ba akong tao? ha! zeke?!"

he was trying to hug and comfort me but i kept on beating him, he was so thin then, can't even carry me to bed and let me fall asleep on my couch.

i woke up on my couch in the morning with blanket over my body, he was sleeping on the floor and didn't even change.