Moonglow Bay | ATEEZ

04. waving goodbye

"Have you talked to Hongjoong about any of this?"

You shook your head, looking at the mug of coffee in your hands.

Jongho raked a hand through his hair, letting out a slow sigh. "Why not?" He asked.

"I haven't spoken to him since he left for university."

"Y/N!" Jongho's voice was full of surprise, and as you looked up at him, you noticed just how shocked he truly was. His entire body seemed to be at full alert. "Are you serious?"

You nodded, finishing off the rest of your drink before resting the ceramic mug on the countertop. "Not since the day Mingi left."

"That was three years ago."

Tears began welling in the corners of your eyes, but you were quick to wipe them away before your friend took notice. "I know," you said. Your voice was barely above a whisper.

August 18, 2017. You were crying. In fact, you'd spent most of the day crying. Mingi and his father finally headed home that morning, off to continue their lives hundreds of miles away from you. It was unplanned and unexpected, and it took up the majority of your day. Moonglow Bay was in their past now, and you couldn't help but feel as if you were, too. It was the day Song Mingi told you he was in love with you. How could you ever forget it? You moped around the bookstore for the remainder of the afternoon, everything feeling a million miles away. You became a robot in your own body. It wasn't until sunset when you felt something again.

Jongho came into the bookstore at about 7:30, you remembered, a weak smile on his face. You could tell he'd also been crying; his eyes were puffy, his nose and cheeks pink.

"Hey," he said, voice hoarse.

You sat straight, concern washing over you. Seeing Jongho like this frightened you. You couldn't think of a time you'd seen your friend cry.

"What's going on?" You asked, massaging your eyes with the heels of your hands.

"I just got back from Joong's house," he said. His voice cracked when he uttered your mutual friend's name. "I guess you were there earlier." Tears welled in the inner corners of his eyes, threatening to fall.

You shook your head. "No, I haven't seen him today."

Jongho's eyes widened. "Then why are you crying?"

"Mingi left this morning," you whispered. You could barely get the words out, and your heart faltered at the thought.

"Wait, so you didn't go see Hongjoong today?"

You were appalled at the question. Jongho knew how much Mingi meant to you, so how could he completely disregard what you said, like it was nothing? "No." It came out harsher than you meant for it to. "I was dealing with Mingi."

"Hongjoong's leaving today, Y/N."

A bit of panic set in at his words, but you were quick to shake it off. "No, he's leaving tomorrow. The 18th."

"Today's the 18th."

Your heart fell into your stomach as you scrambled for your phone to check the date. Sure enough, Friday, August 18 appeared on the screen. A sob ricocheted through your body.

"He said he'd be leaving soon," Jongho said, sensing your panic. "But maybe he hasn't left yet."

You flung yourself off your stool and dashed out the front door, leaving an emotionally vulnerable Jongho in your wake.

Hongjoong, I'm so sorry.

As you ran, all you could think about was your friend. Heartache continued to envelop your body with every step you took. Your legs threatened to give out at any moment, but you forced yourself to push through. There was no possible way that you would let yourself miss saying goodbye. You could see Hongjoong before you through the sting of tears. He was smiling, just as always, talking about university. A university that was, coincidentally, hundreds of miles away from you.

Your friend's house came into view over the horizon, and you felt a breath of relief exit your lungs. You were so close.

Upon your arrival, you bounded up the porch steps and banged on the front door, desperate for an answer. As you waited, the warm August air filled your lungs. You'd just managed to catch your breath once Hongjoong's mother opened the door.

No.

Mrs. Kim's eyes were comparable to Jongho's, and she was much paler than usual. The sight of her made you tremble; you were afraid to speak, for your fears to come true.

"Mrs. Kim--"

"He's gone, Y/N. He and his father left about ten minutes ago."

You were too late. All of the emotions that temporarily abandoned your body came flooding back. With a nod, you offered your thanks to Mrs. Kim and began walking away from the house.

Once you reached the sidewalk, you collapsed, tremors overtaking you as you let yourself cry one more time.

◌ ◌ ◌

"You told me you caught him," Jongho said. You noticed the hurt in his voice without needing to lift your gaze.

With a shake of your head, your grip tightened around the mug in your hands.

"Why would you lie?"

"Because it seemed like a good idea at the time," you whispered. Tears were threatening to cascade down your cheeks at any moment. Three years later, and you were still heartbroken over the mistake you made. "I'm so sorry."

When you finally looked up, you were surprised to see Jongho beside you rather than behind the counter. Before you could process what was happening, your friend's arms were around you, pulling you into his warm embrace. You crumpled the fabric of his cotton shirt in your fist and finally allowed yourself to break down. Once the two of you separated, Jongho sighed. "You never tried to text him or anything?"

"I did that first day," you nodded. "But when I never heard back, I figured it was a lost cause. I didn't text him again until the day I ran into Yeosang."