Learning To Love

Chapter 1

I find it crazy that the minute you think you know someone, you all of a sudden don't. It's not a ticking time bomb, it's more of a slow nuclear war waiting to happen. Much like the US and North Korea.

I guess in this situation it is a little different.

I tend to do that easily. Trust people. It always gets me hurt in the end. But my god, if a van came up to me with the driver saying they have candy, I won't be opposed to getting in the van. And in New York, vans are everywhere.

I breathe in deeply and smell the polluted air. I love New York at night. The city truly never sleeps. It's always alive. It's the kind of alive I want to feel for the rest of my life. New York truly has it all, while I now have almost nothing. Trying to remain optimistic and smiling through the tears wanting to creep out of my eyes, I can't help but stand in the sidewalk with my eyes shut.

Well, until a car horn blares right in my face.

My eyes immediately open as they are trained on the sleek black Tesla a foot away from me. Wavy long brown hair made its way out the window as I stare into the eyes of the stranger.

So maybe I wasn't on the sidewalk.

"If you want me to hit you with my car I will gladly do so, but at least have some decency to do it on the highway and not in traffic."

I almost snorted, "Thanks for the recommendation," I look around as I notice no one is caring about our exchange, "should I go on I-88 or I-90?"

The man shakes his head as he calls out, "Neither. Go on Bronx River Parkway, you will die in nature."

My eyebrows furrow as I think about his poor choice of New York's highways. My eyes are still trained on him as they are on me. His piercing stare almost makes me flinch but I think nothing of it.

"I will make sure to take that into consideration."

And with that, I turn to the sidewalk and leave him behind. Cars were piling up behind him but it seemed as though everyone was patient. Something New York City is not.

As a young woman, wearing a red dress that cost me $150, I should not be out in town like this. New York City is a dangerous place, especially at night. I have no money in my bra, my phone is dead, and my makeup is going to be smeared if I let a tear leave my eye before I get to my apartment. Thankfully it is just a 20-minute walk from my ex-boyfriend's place, where I just came from.

It was our anniversary. Well, 2 years and 5 month anniversary. We couldn't celebrate on our 6 month anniversary because Nathan was supposed to be out of town on a business trip.

Or at least I thought before I walked in on him fucking his assistant on the kitchen counter.

I guess he forgot that it was tonight, as no one celebrates their 2 years and 5 month anniversary. I thought Nathan was the one, he provided for me when I couldn't, he helped me when I was struggling with my mental health, he was there for me when I got my first real job in New York.

Perhaps it was my fault, as I became co-dependent on him. And as I am walking back to my small apartment I can't help but think of the good memories we had. We never fought, we always worked everything out. It was the perfect relationship -- or so I thought.

I'm about one block away from my apartment and I cannot help but let my tears flow freely. This was my first heartbreak, I thought I would never have one, in fact, Nathan promised me he would never break my heart. Never hurt me. Never cheat on me.

Thankfully no one else is on the street listening to my horrific sobs.

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I wake up in the middle of the afternoon with my eyes flushed with a cherry red. Leftover streaks of tears are left on my face.

I look amazing.

It's Friday. I have a three-day weekend as I took it off to celebrate the anniversary.

Nathan.

My mind drifts off to him and my eyes cannot help but water. I thought he was the one. He promised me to never hurt me, to never be like any of the other guys I have been with.

I choke back a sob as I enter my kitchen. I go to my cupboard full of the array of wines that Nathan bought me in the past on our celebrations for us as a couple. Opening one of the bottles, I take a large gulp of it hoping it would assist in making my raging headache go away.

I cannot help but almost down the red liquid in front of me.

I'm a pussy.

I am still wearing my red dress. I am still crying. I am still thinking of him.

My eyes drift to my couch in the living room, and sprawled out on it is a small Gucci bag with a watch laying inside it.

I spent my entire savings on that watch.

"Fuck", I mutter to myself. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." Each fuck is more exaggerated than the last.

I put the almost half-way done wine bottle on my counter as I ruffle my hands through my hair. "Fuck!" I groan out loud.

My mind races, I told the cashier at Gucci I did not need the receipt. I can't return it. I can't pawn it either, I won't make back half the money I spent on it.

What am I supposed to do? My bills are due next week, and I have at the most $150 in both of my checking and savings accounts.

My mind drifts off to calling Nathan to help me. He paid most of my bills for me when we were together because my job doesn't make half as much money of what I owe for this place. Even in this small apartment, where I can visually see every room no matter what crevice I am standing in.

$150. I need at least another $700-$800. By next week? Impossible.

I need to do something...anything. And fast.

My mind completely sobers up at that thought. All thoughts of Nathan are thrown out the window. I grab my wine bottle and pour the rest of the alcohol down the sink.

My mind is scrambled. But I have an idea on how to make my money. It isn't exactly the moral way, but it will do.

It's time for me to get my shit together.

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Well, my first Chapter. Due to quarantine, I now have a bunch of free time.

Thank you for reading this book, I appreciate you for even giving this a try.

I know I have to edit this chapter...badly. Hang in there for me :) Today has been exhausting, I will be editing tomorrow.

1 upvote and I will upload Chapter 2! Just need to make sure at least someone will read this... I mean, I already have 9 chapters written. What more can you ask for during quarantine?

-Shadow