bil ~

1

i have been a huge fan of billie eilish since i could remember. i've always been up to date on her newest music, videos, interviews, you name it.

this has been going on for a few years now, this obsession with a now black and green haired girl.

i always go around calling billie my "wife" and "girlfriend." always saying how one day i'm gonna "make her mine." it really has taken a toll on my friends. they always make annoyed comments towards me and my choice of words. the range is between "grow up" and "get ahold of yourself, mad. you have no chance."

i understand that i have no chance, but a girl could dream. all i dream about is holding that girl and being able to call her mine.

but, being a girl from a lame state called iowa, there's no possibilities coming my way. the chance of meeting billie or even seeing her in concert probably won't happen, but it will never leave my bucket list.

that's besides the point.

my friend, amara, directs my attention on her.

"maddie! have you been listening to anything i've been saying to you? this is getting ridiculous. i can't even have a conversation with you without you being lost in your thoughts. what's going on?"

all i did was blink a couple times and a small smile formed on my face. "ah, sorry. just getting lost in my brain. you know how it goes. but, to be quite honest, i have no idea what you were rambling about, but do continue. i'll figure out eventually."

amara rolled her eyes and sighed. she sat down on the couch next to me. "it doesn't matter anymore. i'm sorry for slightly blowing up on you, but you have to pay more attention. quit getting lost in your thoughts all the time. it's not doing you so good. i'm worried about you," she said with an uneasy tone. all i did was snort. "dude, i'm fine. everything's fine. it's chill. just thinking about somebody.."

my friend got off the couch and huffed. she walked to the kitchen to grab her iced coffee off the counter from earlier today. she took a long sip then shook her head, but she hid the disappointment with a grin. "i hope it's about a love interest. somebody besides billie eilish. you need to get ahold of yourself, mad. maybe find a girl or guy that will actually notice you. quit fantasizing about the inevitable."

there it is again. the "get ahold of yourself" i was talking about. one of the many phrases that gets a rise out of me.

"there is no 'get ahold of yourself', amara. a girl can dream. you also have no room to talk. you literally fantasize about a bunch of guys at school that you know you don't have a chance with. take that shit elsewhere." i've had enough and amara could tell in the tone of my voice.

amara took another sip out of her coffee and sat it back down on the counter. she walked towards me and put her hand on my head. "the only difference is i actually try with those guys. you don't try with billie. although i don't blame you. you'll never have a chance with her. you could try to DM her but nothing would happen. imagine all those DMs and texts she must get. she's probably sick of it."

"the fact that you assume i don't have a chance is quite hilarious honestly."

"don't get your dyke boxers in a twist, maddie. i'm not trying to be mean, i'm just being honest with you. though DMing her wouldn't be a bad idea? at least you could say that you tried."

"maybe you're right. maybe i should. in fact, i'll do that right now while you're here." i brought out my phone from my pocket, typed my passcode in, and went straight into instagram. not surprisingly, billie was the first thing to pop up on my feed.

"there she is," amara said. "tap her username and go for it."

so i did.

"what should i say? 'hey i'm madison and i'm gonna make you my future wife?' or 'wyd'?"

"neither of those. i think you should say-"

"the first one it is." i interrupted.

"uh, no. you shouldn't say that at all. you'll probably scare her."

"you said yourself the chances of her even seeing the message are slim. go hard or go home." so then i started typing the message on my phone.

madisonn- hey imma make you my wife bb

"done." i said once i presses send.

"jesus christ. i'm gonna go shopping. we're almost out of food. wanna come with or stay here?" amara said grabbing her car keys.

i shut my phone off and put it back in my pocket. "yeah i'll come with. let me just get my shoes on."

i stood up from the couch, stretched, then walked over to the front door and put my shoes on. "alright. let's roll."

———————

ahhh dude it's been so long since i made a book on here. i'm probably rusty, but honestly i could care less. my creativity be flowin for my wife billie.