The Experimental Cosmos

10. Trust Is For The Weak

I look up at Jay, vials of the Truth Serum in my hand, and then I do what my survival instinct tells me to do- I turn and RUN.

I pump my legs as fast as they would go and, clutching the handrail, launch myself onto the slide and go down faster than even yesterday. Just as my feet land on the ground, I am swept off again, this time with Jay's hand clamping my mouth shut.

I swing my elbow as hard as I can against his face and as he loses his grip briefly, I manage to squirm around and put just enough distance between us to be able to kick at him. I go in to knee him, but he recovers scarily fast and catching hold of my foot, flips my on my back.

He pins my arms to the ground and looks into my eyes.
"Come on Nebula, trust me!! You know me don't you?!!" he says desperately.

Know him?? Trust him?!! Is this guy INSANE??!!

"Jay, I knew you when we were kids and after that, we talked here after 5 years!! So NO, I do not know you... Leave me!"

Jay is still looking into my eyes, willing me to believe him, but contrary to popular belief, I am not at all an emotional fool. I hold his gaze steadily, hoping my eyes reflect something like tenderness, and with my free arm I reach into my purse for the one contraption we can probably never be free of- my pepper spray.

I slowly uncap it and bring my hand up, and then press down as hard as I can and spray right in Jay's face. He screams my name in agony, and as burning tears stream down his face, I push him off and run, leaving him screaming "Nebula" over and over again till it no more makes sense.

Two hours later, I am sitting in the sky watching building, numb with shock, and done with secrets.

I look up towards the door and see Jay standing there, leaning against the doorframe, a pained look in his eyes. This time, however, my gut somehow tells me to advance, so I walk slowly towards him, my nails biting into my palm.

Just as I reach him, he turns and starts to walk away, and for a moment I stand there confused, and then I realise he wants me to follow him. I begin walking after him and the only thought in my mind is- heck, maybe I AM an emotional fool.

He takes me to his dorm,and locks the door from inside. The click of the lock makes me want to scream, but my scream is drowned by the expression in his eyes.

"You remember our secret, Nebula? 7 years ago near the Fence I had confessed to you that I had found out that my father had done something horrible, but I hadn't told you what. Well, I am telling you today. My father helped the Central with truth trials of the Abstruse- and was possibly responsible for the death of some.

These are the vials I found in his room. Every sample has a specific number on them which connects it to the place it was obtained from, and I stole these from his cupboard that night and have been seeking the answer to this mystery since then. I found out at the night of our farewell that initiates are given the serum, so I carried them here with me. You probably don't believe me, and don't have to, but I wanted to get it off my chest. "

Jay stops, and looks at me, but my time has stopped. That night at the Fence I had told Jay that I found a diary in my mother's locker with numbers in it, and I thought she was meeting with people behind our backs, but I memorised some of the numbers, and one of them is on the vial in Jay's hand right now.

My eyes meet Jay's, and taking a deep breath, I tell him about my little secret. An hour later, we are sitting on the floor, across from each other, with no recollection of how we got there.

The first class next day is Games, and all I am hoping for is a little normality, but welcome to my life, that just doesn't seem possible anymore!!

Just as we score a point against Bella's team, an assistant teacher shows up to tell us that we are all summoned for a surprise truth trial.

I sit in the chair, and crane my neck to allow Mr. Will Hector to inject me with the truth serum, all of my classmates standing in a semi-circle around me.

The truth test building is made of steel, with a high glass ceiling, through which I can see the sun roasting the sky. Mr. Hector also hooks me up to a lie detector, and takes a seat i front of me.

The questions start off pretty easy- name, age, have I ever cheated in class, pet peeves, etc.

Then he looks straight into my eyes, and for a moment, my mind feels violates. Then he asks me the ONE question I have been dreading. The one question that could change my fate, and perhaps that of my family.

He asks me what was the worst thing I have suspected my family of doing.

And in that moment, in the total radio silence on my head, I can only hear my mother's voice- lies are easy to catch, half truths are not.

And so that is exactly what I do. I calm my heartbeats like Mr. Jerry showed us in weaponry yesterday, and then I answer-

"I once suspected my mom of cheating, but I found out later that I was completely wrong."

Which, to be honest, was as close to the truth as can be. The worst thing was the one I found out, but I didn't need to say what it was.

My legs feel weightless, and my face has completely lost sensation, but then the lie detector machine glows green, and it is all I can do to keep myself from crying. In the audience, Jay almost claps, and I almost smile.

As I exit the building, I know that what happened today was going to be the mildest of my encounters with Sodium Pentothal, and I also know one more thing-
Abstruse or not, the human brain ALWAYS beats the drugs and machines.

That is the only reason why humans and humanity are still alive.

And come what may, we intend to keep it that way.