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Chapter 5- at the mall

        im about to drive off when Cami says "oh wait wait here he comes!!" i pout and consider for a moment to keep backing out. before i know it he's opening the back door

        "hello Lis" he says his voice comes across as soothing but instead of it being so it just makes me angry. "hi" i say begrudgingly, not really wanting to talk to him.         

        as i back out Cami starts a very one sided conversation with Franz. shes one who likes to be heard, not really one to listen though.

         on our drive to the mall Franz tries but fails to start a conversaition with me. whats his deal anyway? why can't he just ignore me like everyone else does?

        i pull into the parking lot at the mall. Cami and i head into the mall with Franz following closely behind. we walk into the store where Cami's sale is at and she immediatly runs for the shoes. i laugh to myself watching her.

         i start to pretend to look around when i see a necklace. its a small dark black chain with a wolf head on it. i lightly touch the head of the wolf.

        before i know it Franz has snuck up behind me. "you like that?" he says and it startles me so much i actually jump backwards tripping over his feet and promptly landing on my butt.

        i look around and the whole store is staring at me. whispering things that i know could only be about me. i feel tears start to flow out of my eyes. i get up and run so fast that i knock into people on my way back to my car.

         it was starting again.. another anxiety attack. they always happen whenever i see multiple people whispering about me. just like they did at my families funural. and like everytime i want to hide and cry.

         Cami has seen this before. the day i came to school. its how we met. i ran to the bathroom and she was there and she helped me calm down.         

        even though she could help me theres no way i can go back there with Franz. i dont want him to see me like this, i dont want him to see my weakness.

        when i get to my car i get in and pull my knees up twoards my face. i pull my hood over my head and cry. i cry because i remember my family. i cry because i miss my sister. i cry because no matter how hard i try not to i blame myself. because i was the only survivor.