Sort Me Out :: Ksimon

Part 1 : In The Night

NOTE: I don't mean any disrespect to KSI or Simon or any of their IRL partners. This is just for ships sake and is a work of fiction.

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Simon found himself there holding the doorknob to JJ's room, his heart was in his ears and his face was red. Fingers gripping the cool metal, trembling with the fear that he would just get yelled at, interrupting JJ's sleep was rude, and selfish. But the sound of his TV from the other side of the door was there, maybe he was still awake? Did that make it better? Simon had no idea. What he did know was that his mind was a mess and he couldn't stand being alone, he needed the buzzing to stop, he needed to breathe and the only person who could that for him was JJ. He has done it before, he was always there when Simon needed him to be there, without trying to sound too dramatic he kept him alive.

No one else really knew how bad it was, though of course they knew about it. His moods, his bad days which were different than his normal bad days. The ones when he was near manic and out of his head almost, he acted different but couldn't tell you why. It has always just been that way.

Turning the knob finally he pushes his way slowly inside the room, turning quickly to close the door quietly behind him. Head turning before his body to look over his shoulder, his hands pressed to the door as blue eyes fall on JJ. Who is sitting there, shirtless, back pressed to the headboard staring at Simon with confusion. The splashes of color from the TV playing at the foot of his bed flicker over JJ's features, over every crease and line of muscle on his chest and stomach. It makes Simon feel overwhelmed almost, turning on his heel, pressing his back to the door now as he just stares at JJ with fear on his red face. His eyes prickling with hot tears, swallowing thickly he is not sure if he could talk through all the emotions blocking up his throat.

"Come here." JJ motions to his bed and Simon moves without hesitation, walking quickly over to the bed and climbing into it. Sitting there on his knees, sporting only his boxers and one of JJ's oversized swears, with the sleeves pulled over his hands in a nervous fashion.

A sleeve covered hand comes up to wipe at his wet eyes, not wanting to cry just yet. So he sniffles and looks down avoiding JJ's knowing gaze.

"You alright?" JJ questions in a soft tone, his hand moving across the duvet covering his lap and legs in Simon's direction. Simon shakes his head 'no' before moving to crawl into JJ's lap, straddling his thighs, hunched over some. His own hands pressed to his chest as he takes in deep breaths, to scared to look at the other man. JJ doesn't move right away, seeming to be torn, or at lest that is what Simon assumes.

Most times before Simon would just get into his bed and talk about what was bothering him or they would cuddle and watch a movie. JJ knew how affectionate Simon was, so it was just natural at this point that they would end up in bed pressed against each other from time to time. Even though JJ found it strange at first, he grew into it, but only in private. In public he was not always a big fan, and now with him being KSI well, he wanted to be careful with who might see.

Though this was just on that borderline of different that JJ didn't know how to react to it, and Simon couldn't blame him for that. He finally looks up, meeting JJ's confused gaze. Taking in a deep breath he move his hands slowly to rest on JJ's bare, solid, chest. A beat passing before he feels JJ's hands coming down to rest on his bare thighs, it makes his heart skip. His eyes swelling up with more tears, God, he needed this so badly. Simon felt so broken, he needed JJ to fix him, he was the only person who could, right?

"I'm sorry..." Simon says so softly he isn't sure if JJ heard him.

"Sorry for wh--"

JJ's words are cut off as Simon leans in to kiss him on the lips. It was just a press of lips, tense and, quick. Pulling back ever so slowly, light eyes flicker up to gauge JJ's reaction, his heartbeat back in his ears as he worries that he would be kicked out, or worse, yelled at. He didn't want to see JJ angry, even though he half expected it. JJ's features are almost blank as he just stares at Simon, his lips slightly parted as his hand grip Simon's thighs tighter.