falling [asanoya/ennotana] 🌦

yuu comes clean

a/n: giving this one last proofread, i'm realizing it's kinda a filler, but there is a bit of an important plot développement, so. enjoy.

.nishinoya.

i didn't walk home immediately.

i stayed frozen to the spot, feeling like emptiness was sinking into my skin, and watched him walk away until i couldn't see him anymore.

suddenly, i felt a delayed bit of anger flare through me. why hadn't i made him stay and explain more?! obviously there was something he still wasn't saying, but what?

i flipped off the spot where he had been standing minutes ago.

"you bitch," i whispered sharply to myself.

i began to think about everything that had just happened, starting to breathe heavily.

i figured that maybe i should think about this at home in case i started angry-crying (or just regular crying), and plus at home, i could facetime ryū and he could help me feel better.

so i took off running as fast as i could to get to my house.

by the time i arrived, i could hardly breathe as i loudly burst through the door.

i heard my mom saying something to my dad, and they both laughed, then my dad called out, "hi, yuu! how was practice?"

i took off my shoes and stumbled into the kitchen to see them sitting at the table.

"good," i panted.

"did you run home?" my mom asked, her brows furrowed.

i nodded, and went over to the sink to get a glass of water.

"why did you run?"

i shrugged, chugging the water.

"lots of extra energy to get out after practice, or something."

my parents exchanged a Look.

"well, bud, we're glad you're feeling better, but don't push yourself too hard. you only just got over that sickness," said my dad.

i frowned.

"yeah," i mumbled, and put my glass in the sink.

"well, how was practice?" asked my mom brightly.

i sat at the table.

"it was pretty good."

"that's good. but again, make sure you're not overworking yourself."

i nodded slowly, and kept my gaze directed at my hands awkwardly. now that i was feeling slightly less sad (well, i was still upset but in a different way), i felt guilty about lying about being sick just so i could skip school.

"are you feeling alright, sweetie? you're not getting sick again, are you?"

my mom placed her hands over mine.

i scrunched up my face and closed my eyes, but i couldn't take it anymore.

"uh, guys? i need to tell you something important," i faltered.

they shared another Look. made sense, since i wasn't bothering to hide my nerves at all, and i wasn't a generally nervous person.

"what is it, honey?" my mom asked.

"you can tell us anything," my dad added.

i squirmed a little in my seat, and drew my hands away, clasping them together in my lap.

"uhh... i'm... bisexual?" i admitted, uncertainly bleeding into every word.

another Look, then they looked back at me, with tender and affectionate gazes.

"thank you for telling us, that was a very brave thing to do."

"and we don't see you any differently, you're still our son and we love you."

i felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"thanks, you guys," i whispered.

they cooed a bit and came over to my chair to hug me from either side.

i leaned into it gladly as i shook, letting the tears escape my eyes and fall over my lower lids, trailing down my cheeks, and over my chin, several making their way into my mouth.

we stayed there for a while until my tears had mostly stopped, and when they pulled away and sat back down, i wiped my eyes and sniffled a bit.

"that's not all, there's more," i confessed. "you know that guy on the team, asahi? the ace, number three, long hair?"

they nodded.

"well, um... me and him dated for a bit, but... recently he broke up with me and didn't explain anything, and i-" i stopped to angrily swipe at the new tears forming in my eyes, and swallow the lump in my throat. "i was reminded of middle school, because he refused to explain. and just now, after practice, before i got home, um... we had a talk and i tried to get him to explain, and he kind of did, but i still feel like there's something he's not telling me. and- and the worst part is that-" i choked down a sob. "he said he still loved me, but he still broke up with me."

i bit my lip, but i couldn't stop the next round of tears.

this time my parents each grabbed one of my hands.

"i'm so sorry you had to get through that. is that why you didn't want to go to school on thursday?"

i nodded.

"that's alright, baby. if he did something like that, maybe he didn't deserve you anyway. he's gotta be messed up to not see that he had such a great young man with him and just throw him away."

i drew my hands back again. i'm sure my mom meant well, but her statement sort of felt like a punch to the heart (emotionally, not physically).

that's the thing, this was what i was so worried about. he had expressed his concerns that he wasn't good enough for me, but he was more than good enough. and he did deserve me, and yeah, he made a mistake, but-

i stopped my thoughts in their tracks. i was trying to excuse his actions, but i didn't know if i was ready to forgive him yet, or try to justify what he did.

"oh no, i said something wrong didn't i?" my mom fretted.

"kind of... asahi is a pretty insecure guy, and can be painfully shy at times, so the thing is... i think he did deserve me. and i try to tell myself he just made a mistake, but then i think maybe i shouldn't try to rationalize or justify to myself what he did, and i'm not really sure if i'm ready to forgive him yet."

"and that's perfectly fine. these things take some time to sort out," my dad advised.

i nodded.

"thanks, guys. i think i'm gonna go to my room now."

they nodded.

"at least take some food with you."

i agreed and filled up a plate with food, then took it back to my room.

i sat on the floor leaning against the bed, and slowly ate my food until there was none left. despite how slowly i ate, i was still surprised when i reached for another bite and there was none left.

i sighed and leaned my head back to rest on the edge of my bed, setting my plate on the floor. i closed my eyes, and recounted everything that had just happened.

with all these emotions going through me in such a short time, i was exhausted, but i couldn't go to bed without telling ryū about everything.

i dragged my eyes open and sluggishly grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

i opened my conversation with ryū, and just sent this simple message: 'bro, can u call me? need to talk about what happened'