Once Upon a Dream

Chapter 6

(Morticia pov)

Morticia wished that she could say the rest of the evening was much more peaceful, but that didn't happen. It was as if her revelation had put a new perspective on her in the Cullen's eyes and now she was on the receiving end of pity stares. 

In her head, she knew they meant well and weren't trying to make her feel singled out but at the moment she felt like she was the main attraction at the zoo, a shiny new animal to gawk at. 

They clearly had more questions, if Alice's pacing told her anything. Even the little pixie could make something as mundane as pacing, look like it could belong on a runway. She could also tell from Rosalie and Esme's not so subtle glances that they were unsure how to proceed in conversation.

Morticia sighed and tossed the magazine she was reading to the side. "Alright, ladies. I can practically hear your brains whirling so just ask. I know you all must have questions."

Esme looked sheepish while Rose looked impressed at her bluntness. It was Esme who took her up on her offer. 

"Morticia, dear, could you tell us how this all started? I mean- if you want to of course." Her soothing voice made Morticia nearly spill all her secrets right then, but she knew that was Jasper's territory.

"Can I start off by saying that my story isn't as tragic or horrible as my body makes it seem. My body right now reflects me at age 17 for some unknown reason, which was the worst time for me mentally. My habits didn't start until nearly the end of my 16th year but they were quickly escalating in my 17th. At 20 I wasn't perfectly cured and frankly, I don't think any amount of therapy will cure me indefinitely.  I'm sorry you have to see me like this, but I really have gotten better, slightly." She winced, remembering how many times she had skipped lunch or breakfast since coming here.

'We can't relapse back into that.' She chided herself, 'Think about how far we've come through this.'

Rosalie, in a surprising show of affection, grasped Morticia's hand and gave her a reassuring smile. "I feel I need to apologize...I severely misjudged you. You are by far stronger than any human I've ever met and I thought you-" She cut herself off and glanced at the floor in shame.

Morticia chuckled and knew this was probably very hard for Rosalie to admit. "You thought I was a little human that was a threat to your family, it's alright. For the most part, you can never be sure with high school girls so I get where you were coming from. Don't worry about it, Rosalie, we're cool." 

Rosalie gave her another smile, "please, everyone in the family calls me Rose. I think you've done enough to earn that." Both girls were thrown into slight giggles.

It was Alice who eventually brought the two back to the conversation, "You said habits...what did you mean by that."

Morticia sighed as she thought back to all the little, 'habits' she had acquired since her days in high school. 

"They started small. I would just run a lot- sometimes for hours on end. Then it escalated when I started counting how many calories I was eating and how many carbs I had. Slowly and slowly I began to cut meals down and eventually, it got to the point where I would only eat maybe once or twice a day with very heavy protein meals but I still ran constantly. In fact, this is the longest that I've ever gone without exercising in some way, huh, I didn't realize how much I missed it."

Her running shoes had become her safety blanket. Whenever she felt stressed or anxious she ran, if she couldn't sleep, she ran. Realizing how much she relied on them made her shudder slightly. She knew it was a bad thought but she really wished she could go for a run right about now. The endorphins may give her some clarity about how the hell to handle the Cullens knowing about her 'condition.'