Call Them Insane

Prologue

Date; Monday, March 5th.
Time; 4:32 pm
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"What's on your mind, hun? You're quiet today and ontop of that, you're not giving me direct eye contact." My therapist, Dr. Crystal spoke whilst I, Syminó stared down at my fingers thinking hard as I tried to find words to form with my lips to respond to her worried question, but nothing came upon my brain and it frustrated me.
I let out a sigh, leaning back into the sofa I was sitting on while now staring at the coffee table in front of me.

"Honestly, I don't know what to tell you, Crystal. I do not want to talk about what happened to me in 9th grade okay? I'm in 11th grade now and I am sure I am over it now." Making eye contact with her, she nodded her head slowly but, I knew she was going to make up a reason on why I should talk about it.

"Sy, listen love... 10th grade you got sent to alc for beating a boy with a damn pencil sharpener and you want to sit here and tell me that you're over your past? Really now? Why can't you just open up to me love. You giving me eye contact definitely doesn't help because you're so good at hiding the pain that shows in your pupils away from the world. Please open up to m-"

"I DON'T HAVE SHIT TO SAY CRYSTAL! IT'S THE FUCKING PAST OKAY?! I AM SO TIRED OF DWELLING ON THE PAST. I AM BROKEN AND I'M TRYING TO FIX MYSELF! I DON'T NEED ANYONE. Please, stop trying. You don't care for real anyways, you just want the money i'm paying you, lol." I cut her off as I spoke, I also gathered my belongings making my way towards her desk dropping $600 on it before walking out.

Tears brimming my eyes as I made my way to my car. To be honest, i'm not so sure if I can fix myself without any help, but you cannot trust anyone in america. I miss my childhood that I had in London, but i'm so glad I got away. I guess I should tell y'all about what happened in 9th grade so you can understand the pain I felt when I yelled at her, Crystal.

Me being a freshman whom wasn't even from america but sorta grew up there, I still had a british accent. I still do honestly, but my american accent is actually getting better. Anyways, the guys at the school expected me to be so boujie and stuckup but I wasn't. The worst day of my life was May 24th. I remember his name, Landon. He was very known, he was in 11th grade in fact.
Landon caught me in the hallway, alone standing at my locker. I had just got to school because I was at the hospital that morning, doesn't matter why though. He walked up to me, grasping on my hips while attempting to start a conversation with me. I simply ignored him, moving his hands off me while grabbing the books i needed for that hour. Walking off, I knew he was trailing behind me like a lost puppy but I did not know what was going to happen next. He pushed me into the janitor's closet and walked inside with me closing the door behind him. My books were scattered everywhere but I could not see because it was dark. I felt his presences close to mines and I stood up from where ever I had fallen and i pushed his body beginning to curse him out for pushing me. I was one of the quiet ones, it took alot to get me hyped up.
He slapped me, kicked me and removed the blue jean pants I had on. Before I could let out a scream, he covered my mouth & bent me forward pushing himself inside me. It hurt so much... he took my v-card, the only thing that I was actually proud of having when I finally made it to high school. My friend, Mésan lost hers when she was in 8th grade. I didn't want to lose mines, I was not ready to LOSE IT. But he took it... my soul , my heart, all of that, he ruined me. I became unhappy, the sparkle I had in my eyes was no longer there. I was so afraid to tell my mothers... So, I went to the only person I felt so normal around, Caiden. He was Mésan's brother. He knew me from inside & out. The only boy whom actually understood me. Did he do anything about it? No, because I made him promise to not do anything to Landon without asking me first. As much as he tore me into pieces that very day, I was never the type of person to have someone do my dirty work when it was needed. Caiden held me tightly that night and that was the only thing I needed. Comfort.

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