Im back

Suicidal attempt

I attempted suicide before like so many times.I was almost their but then I thought about the people I might and will I guess care.Some people think I'm insane I may be a little insane but I'm not 100%.I take pills now and I go to counseling every Wednesday's I've had about 3 anxiety attacks.I got scared on my first one I honestly thought I was gonna die and when I thought that I was like ok then but then they gave me my pills my inhaler and I was fine.Well my first suicide attempt was when I was 13 I cut my arm intill my arm was covered in blood I felt so weak.I said to my self "come on a few more cuts your almost their."But then my little brother came up stairs to tell me something I panicked I cleaned it up stopped the blood and acted normal I was still weak do I took a nap.My second was the same thing cut my arm blah blah blah but I thought what if my brother catches me.I stopped again that same day I got yelled at hit by my little brother I said "I've should of done it they would care less."My third time I moved to a new house yay I guess.So my mom wanted to clean my bathroom she had bleached in their she left it for 4 days.So I went inside the restroom locked the door I was gonna cut myself I saw the bottle and had a better Idea."Hey why not drink the bleach and die"Didnt do that cause I took forever and someone knocked on the door.Haha I wanted to do it so bad.My fourth I had gotten sick and my mom took me to the doctor I got pills.My mom trusted me with them big mistake I took more then the dose said to each time I had to take them.Finally I said "If I wanna kill myself lets do it then" I got the bottle took them all I felt weak I even cut myself to.I felt better after a while I was mad but I couldn't sleep my stomach hurt it felt weird I threw them back up but I just got more sick.I was so close I still feel the way I did when I tried it its caused I still have all that in me. I bet if I take a whole bottle or even two I will be able to die.