I wake up in Haley's room. She's fast asleep next to me, and I quietly sneak out to get my phone from my purse.
I grab my phone to see not a single message. I throw my phone on the couch and grab the pickle jar from the fridge. Pickle juice helps my hangovers, so I sip at it while I rethink the events of last night.
I know my sleeping with him knowing he's married is fucked up. But i've loved him since I was a kid. That never truly went away. I use to say i'd marry him, and I think the child in me was furious I had been wrong. That he wasn't the one i'd end up with.
It reminds me of his wedding day. The last day I truly had this silly hope he would realize I was more for him than she was.
***
"Jessica! Your mom keeps asking where you are and I-" Angela stares at me, her face falling when she sees i'm sitting on the bathroom floor crying in my dress. My bridesmaid dress, that is.
"What's wrong?" She sits next to me, wrapping her arm around me.
"He's marrying her." I stare at the ground, sniffling. I still don't know why I agreed to be her bridesmaid, but my family is good friends with Neal's, and I couldn't be rude. But it kills me.
"I know you always thought it would be you and him in the end, but there's someone out there who is going to be your one. And sadly it wasn't Neal, as much as you wanted it to be."
"I know. I know i'll find that person someday, my heart just hurts watching the guy I thought it was love someone else."
Angela hugs me tightly. "You got this. I know you'll get through this heartbreak."
Angela smiles and helps me up. I see my face in the mirror and almost cry more. Angela holds my hand out the door as I wipe the slightly smeared makeup.
"Can I borrow her for a moment?" Neal says, standing at one of the crazily decorated tables outside.
"I guess so." Angles nods at me and walks away.
"So what's up?" I ask, trying to seem calm.
"You remember when we were like 8 or so, we would pretend to get married so we knew what to expect someday?" I chuckle at the hidden memory.
"Yeah. We wanted the practice. Now here we are." He smiles the smile that tears into my heart every single time.
"It's crazy to think i'm marrying the woman I had been practicing for back then." He looks down with a smile.
"Yeah! Crazy. I'm going to go get ready for all this." I walk away, not wanting to hear anymore about his soon to be fucking wife.
***
After that day I insisted i'd move on. And for a long time, I had. Until I saw him again.
I grab my phone and go to email Neal's father and Mr. Henry telling them i'm moving and have to resign. A complete lie as of now, but maybe moving wouldn't be so bad. Or at least getting away for a bit to clear my mind.
I text my mother and tell her i'm going to visit soon. My parents live in Florida now since all the kids are out of the house.
I want to take a minute to realize what i've done is shitty. Sleeping with a married man? What the fuck is wrong with me?
My mom texts back a smiley face. I sigh and stare at my phone.
Just as i'm about to throw my phone down again, Neal's name pops up on my phone.
NEALS POV
Last night was a disaster. It took a shit ton of convincing to make Rebecca believe I had not slept with Jessica. It was a night of her crying and telling me if i'd done it she'd ruin my life and take all she could from me. I nearly laughed, considering how much better my lawyers are than any lawyer she would ever get. But I have to be careful with all this. I have to get her doing something that would make me look like the victim.
When I looked at her, I barely felt bad anymore. I didn't even want to be around her. I wanted it to be Jessica in front of me. Her beautiful smile making me smile. Her laugh that makes anyone else laugh. It's ridiculous, but it's was it she's the only woman I can see.
It's like seeing in black and white your entire life, and suddenly seeing color.
The morning after the nearly marriage ruining reveal, Becca leaves for Seattle to take time to herself. I'm glad she left. Now I can actually make myself realize I'll lose however much I need to, so that I can be with the right woman. If Jess will ever talk to me again.
I end up calling her so I can rest the waters. To my surprise, she answers.
"Neal,"
"Becca is back in Seattle, and I'm dying to see you and talk. I have some things to tell you."
"I think this is all more fucked up than I wanted to admit to myself. I let feelings get in the way of what's right, and it sure isn't right to be sleeping with a married man."
"I know. But let me explain some things to you tonight, and we can sort it out."
I wait for her response. I nearly blurt out what I want to tell her, but I don't. I just wait for her to tell me she'll see me.
"I don't know Neal."
"If you don't want to ever see me again after tonight i'll leave you alone. Just...please?"
She sighs. "Fine. Tonight at 8?"
"Yes." We hang up and I can't help but smile. I need her to know how I feel so she can understand that in this moment, Rebecca doesn't mean anything to me.
While Jessica means nearly everything.
YOU ARE READING
His Double Life
Lãng mạn"Arms up." He demands. His voice is harsh, yet soothing. I can't help but find his dominance intriguing. I do as he said, and put my arms up and over my head, my body squirming on the mattress. He gently cuffs each hand individually, and attaches t...
