His Double Life

Part 19

JESSICAS POV

After a few days of laying in bed crying, I decide to go to work. I took sick days to avoid seeing Neal, but I need to face reality eventually. I also have to face the reality of a new job offer that was put on the table that I accepted. I had applied months ago, and just now got the offer. Perfect timing, really. Not like I ever was really here anyways.

Neal's father emailed yesterday telling me he was sad I was leaving the company, but he wished me the best of luck. It almost hurt, but I know I won't have to see anything that reminds me of him again once I go get my things. Which I am doing today.

I get up and shower, letting the warmth run down my skin.

I stand there for what feels like hours just thinking about how stupid it was of me to think a man who cheats on his wife with no problem would ever love me, or even want only me. If i were to end up with him, how could I trust him?

Whose to say he wouldn't do the same shit to me he does to his wife?

"Hurry uppp!" My roommates shouts through the door.

"One minute!" I say, hopping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my body. I rush out and into my room to change, and do my makeup a bit. I dry off and put on the outfit I picked out that's  laying on my bed.

I put on some mascara and foundation to make me look more alive, and try to get my life together in the short amount of time I have.

I rush out of the apartment to my car, debating if I am ready to go and see him. I know I will, even if i'm just there for a second.
I figure by now, he's forgotten about me and is focusing on the woman who is claiming she is carrying his child.

The drive is awful, and I cry more than I wanted to, but I was the one who walked away. I did the right thing, I just need to forget him and focus on work.  

"Jess! So good to see you again. You feeling better?" The woman at the front desk smiles, and I nearly forget to respond when I see Neal walking up the stairs with his father.

"Jess?" I snap out of it and smile at her.

"I feel much better, thank you Sammy. I'm actually here to get my stuff, I got a job offer I couldn't pass up." She frowns.

"I'll miss you!" She lies. I smile again before making my way to my desk.

I share an office with a girl named Valerie, and we both feel as if we don't belong here, therefore we get along great.

"I felt so alone while you were gone. I did get to blast some country though,"

"Yuck. Glad I wasn't here for that! But actually, i'm leaving. I got a job offer I couldn't dare reject."

"You asshole! Take me with?" I shake my head and laugh.

"I wish. You'll still see me i'm sure. We can get lunch and shit."

"Works for me."

I check my emails. Nearly all of them have Neal in them, and I close my eyes trying to hold tears back. I don't know if i'm doing the right thing, but there's no going back.

"By the way, Neal Greyson was looking for you this morning. He told me to call his office when you arrived?" She raises an eyebrow. "What did you do to have the Neal Greyson on your case?"

"I'm probably just too good at my job and he's sad to see me go. I'll stop by his office in a bit."

"He said it's urgent. I don't know if that changes anything but-"

"Okay. Thank you, i'll stop by now I suppose." I fake a smile, knowing I can't ignore that while at work. I make my to his office and hear a familiar voice. His baby mama.

"This is not my fucking baby so what game are you playing? Stalking me to my home and work is not a good way to try and seek my attention." He says, sounding angry and exhausted. "I'm not stupid, I know exactly what's up here."

"Look, there's a mistake, it's your kid and-"

"Shut the fuck up. You're trying to get money out of me, and you probably could have, but you ruined my relationship with this lie so get the fuck out or security will escort you." Seconds later she's rushing out of his office. She sees me and stops for a moment before running down the hall to the stairs.

"That was a bit harsh," I say, making Neal jump. His face lights up when he sees it's me, and my heart jumps seeing his joy. I love how he looks at me, and I missed it even within just a few days apart.

"Jess. I didn't think you'd be here today,"

"Have to come back to get my stuff. Even if you are here."

He walks over and closes his door. He rests his forehead on the door before turning to me, bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days.

"I thought about everything. I want to be with you Jess I really do. But everything going on with my wife it's just been...a shit show. I can assure you I have all intentions of leaving her and putting a fucking rock on your finger but-"

"You want to marry me?" I ask, shocked.

"Perhaps. I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. But you... you're the one... I know i'd never regret being with you, and i'd never want anyone else. I cant even get a boner for anyone else let alone love someone else."

"How would you know?"

"I tried to watch porn and it didn't work. No, I didn't fuck anyone else, or try to."

I sigh, relieved he cleared that up.

"So there's no baby added into the picture?" I ask. 

"No. After you left we talked. She let it slip that she was not fully sure on who the father was, considering she had slept with numerous other men since then, and she's not enough weeks along for it to be mine. I asked for proof, don't worry. She just wanted money."

"Well thats a relief." I force a smile, still hating the entire situation, and finding the timing extremely odd.

"Neal I cant be the other woman anymore. I was stupid in love with you and so I let it go on for as long as I did, but it feels as if you're using me to fill the void you have rather than because you love me. I've loved you for years, and as happy as I was to hear you say those words I don't believe them."

"Jess I mean it." He cups my face with his hands. "I do love you. I don't say that shit to just anyone. I truly mean it and want to make this work, even if I have to wait years-"

"You'd wait years? Neal I would be the one waiting fucking years. You'd be married still trying to get whatever it is you're aiming for by staying with her, but it's not easy. I cant tell anyone I have you or that you're who i'm seeing. It's not easy on me."

"If you love me, you won't give up on me. I need you, I need us. I need you to trust me with this and when I say it will be us in the end, I need you to believe that. Can you do that?"

I stand still, not knowing if I should believe him. But when I look into his eyes it's hard to even consider saying no.

"Fine." I say. "I can do that."