Lost Girls

"Are you okay?"

Sometimes I wish I could be taken away from it all, to have a little break to breathe and live. Sometimes I wish someone could whisk me away, hold me and tell me those stressful things I'm worried about will be ok and that I will be ok. But sadly nobody is there to whisk me away, nobody is there to tell me I'm gonna be ok. Every night I see that person in my dreams who takes me away and gives me a little bit of my sanity back, my peter pan as I call her and when I wake up each morning I wish I could just go back to sleep and be in her arms for as long as I want  *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* but sadly that's just a fantasy.

I turn off my alarm and peel myself off of my bed to get ready for school. I grab my glasses from my bedside table, open my closet and pick out a red cropped sweater with ripped black jeans some black platform heels and put my hair into a messy bun with red lipstick and a little eye makeup, I don't usually like much on my face so a little bit is good enough for me. I grab my black bookbag and look inside to make sure I had everything I needed for the day of hell I was going to face. I open my door and start to walk down the stairs when I hear my mom and my stepdad arguing about whatever the hell he did this time, I roll my eyes not wanting to deal with listening in on the conversation and just walk downstairs to find that breakfast was not made as it usually was at this time. "Guess they have been fighting for that long," I say to myself and look into the fridge to see what I could make in the 45 minutes I had before I needed to be at school "egg sandwich seems simple enough and its already 7:15 so I can't pick and choose" I quickly make my egg sandwich and head out the door "come on world, let today be a good day". I eat my sandwich on the walk to school and manage to make it there 5 minutes before my class starts. 

MAGICAL TIME SKIP TO LUNCH BECAUSE I CANT WRITE IN CLASS SHITTTTT

I walk into the cafeteria which for most is a time for lunch and fun talks with your friends, well not for me lunchtime starts my daily torture with Casandra. Most of the time during lunch I will take out the book I'm reading at the time or a pen and paper to draw random shit but without fail Casandra feels the need to make my hell even worse. I am just sitting at a table with my lunch about to take out my current book when she slides over to my table "So Becca hows the love life" Casandra found out about me being gay a month ago when I was writing about it one time and she has made it her number one priority to hold it over my head and blackmail me with that fact. She tips my tray over and my lunch spills all over my lap "WHAT THE H-" "ah ah ah~ I wouldn't say anything if I were you or, OH NO something might spill out of my mouth that shouldn't" we just had to have pasta today WE JUST HAD TO "Enjoy your food, bitch" she laughs and she walks away being the snobby bitch she is. I am trying everything to get off my pants but to no avail "I am lucky that I picked black pants today". 

MAGICAL TIME SKIP TO AFTER SCHOOL BECAUSE I CAN DO THAT BITCH!

"Ok shitty start to the day but it is still dayligh-" and then to make it worse I trip and get dirt all over my already saucy pants. I pat myself down hoping to get even a little bit of the dirt off of myself went I hear a faint *SNAP* then all my hair falls to my sides "great, just great" I just keep walking home hoping that maybe just maybe the rest of the day will be a little better. I walk inside to see my stepdad in the kitchen "come on, not now" I whisper to myself as I hope that my stepdad wouldn't say anything to fuck up my day anymore but sadly he has to open his mouth "I saw that there were dishes in the sink when I looked what was the reason for that" you know I didn't have time, why are you like this "I didn't have time this morning, I made my food and when I looked up it was already 7:48 and you know I have to walk so I didn't have any time" he then gave that little smile he always has when he is about to say something that makes me have to resist every urge to slap him across the face "I had cleaned the entire kitchen that morning so I would think if you wanted it to stay clean you would try to clean it, I mean its just a pan, you can clean it easy right?" he then grabs the pan and cleans it "see easy, just make sure to do that yourself next time" he then leaves still having that fucking sly smile on his face "he is just being himself no need to get all upset" I walk into my room change my clouthes and take out my homework for the day "you can do this, just focus on this and not anything else"

Little time skip

You know the worst thing about homework is that it's at the end of the day, so if you're already having a shitty day you can't think about anything but the shitty day you have had. I had finished 1 assignment since I got home and it was already 6 ONE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT IN 3 HOURS AND I HAD 5 OTHERS! I started to breathe heavily and little things started coming into my mind "YOUR STUPID"  "YOU THINK YOULL PASS WITH THIS SPEED" " NOT THAT IT MATTERS BECAUSE IT'S MOST LIKELY WRONG"  "DUMBASS" "USELESS" "UNLOVED" "AND TO TOP IT OFF YOU JUST HAD TO BE GAY, CAN YOU GET ANY WORSE BECCA!" "GROSS" "NOBODY EVEN WANTS YOU HERE" "WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY!" I can't breathe at this point and I start to cry I run over to my bey window and open it trying to get even a little air into my lungs. I can breathe again now but I just can't stop crying, I can't stop the voices, why can't I stop being me, nobody likes me anyways, this thought just makes me cry even more and I hug my knees as I sit in the bey window when I hear a voice call out to me "Are you okay?".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I know most of Becca's problems might not seem too big or too bad but they are my problems and it usually breaks me like this 7/10 times and all of these things have happened to me (with the details changed of course) and it usually just added to my bad day so I thought it was a good thing to add.