Ian the Good Boy *WITH HAIR*

katie yes plz

Katie's POV:

I'm rudely interrupted from my afternoon yoga sesh when my best friend Holly calls. I pick up immediately because if I don't answer after 1 ring Holly assumes i've been kidnapped and calls the police to perform a manhunt.

It's a common thing for us.

'what do you want' I say into my phone.

'I'm in love with a boy i met about 12 hours ago and i need to find out where he lives, i know you might take a while getting here and it's a struggle but i really need your help'

As the cool best friend I am, I walk over to Holly's house which doesn't take long because she lives next door. Dramatic bitch.

I break into her house because i don't have time to knock on the door. Besides, loud noises will break me from my zen and my yoga instructor said i need to be more zen.

Once i smash her window i climb into her room to find Holly sprawled out on the floor looking like a cow rug. Or maybe just a cow.

'I'm here'

She sits up to look at me and i immediately notice her really bad posture which makes me throw up into a nearby plant pot 5 times.

When i'm done i apologise to the plant which hits me in the face and says 'photosynthesise that you slut'.

I let out a short laugh because i failed history so i don't know what photosynthesise even means, wasn't that part of the cold war?

I turn back to Holly to see she's got her computer open and is looking up 'ways to kill yourself'. I let her look a bit longer because as her best friend I support her plans.

'So this boy' I begin, 'what's the situation'

She lets out a really long sigh and sticks out her tongue in lust, love, disgust, horror, confusion and hatred. I understood exactly how she was feeling.

'Basically he's my soulmate and we HAVE to find him!!'

'alright then'

Just at that moment, Holly's older brother, who happens to be young Leo Dicaprio at an age legal for me to date, bursts into her room and looks directly at me.

'Hi' he says

I wave in response and quickly do a backflip out of holly's window into a nearby bush because i decided it was better than talking to him. Sadly, a branch went right up my asshole and Leo saw the entire thing. Sexy.

Holly walked out her front door a few minutes later wearing a sparkly unicorn sequin top and a long pink skirt that really screams 'i'm 15'.

It took us 5 hours to find where Ian lives, and we only discovered it because there was a trail of slime, that holly found out was residue from when chipmunks give birth, leading up to a house.

She knocked on the door and i waited in the car because i still hadn't removed the stick from my butt and was in immense pain. I moved myself into the recovery position and gently removed the stick, doing really well at holding in my tears.

HOLLY'S POV:

As i watch Katie crying harshly in my car, I wait anxiously for the door to open while my palms start sweating profusely.

'Hello?' I hear a familiar voice ask. But it wasn't Ian.

'Hi Mr. Shmickson' i groan. I take in the massive bandage wrapped around his head.

It could be from the incident earlier but i'm not 100% certain so i decide not to apologise. Maybe he didn't know I threw the cup.

'Is Ian here?' I ask.

'What do you want with my son?'

Instead of answering i whip out the grappling hook that i conveniently had on me and swirl it around a bit.

Sadly, it hit Mr Shmickson's nose instead of the side of the wall, but it really was a hit or miss situation.

I try again and it hits the wall, so i start scaling the side of their house while my teacher stands and watches and probably calls the police i'm not sure.

As i reach an open window i climb inside and fall into a toilet. Probably the bathroom.

Unfortunately, the bathroom wasn't empty and it wasn't the toilet i fell into, it was Ian's stream of piss.

'OH MY GOD' he shouts and quickly puts away his *bits*

I try to hide my face but i shove it into the dirty toilet water by mistake so i just sit there for a few minutes almost drowning in hope he might not see me and leave. He didn't leave.

'Holly? Is that you? Why is your face in my toilet?'

I lift my head in shame and smile at the boy in front of me.

'I came to find you but i don't think your dad likes me very much'

'well that's ok' Ian said as he gets closer which is difficult because his jeans are still by his ankles, 'I lik-'

Just as Ian's about to finish his sentence which I have no idea how he was going to finish, Katie rushes into the room.

'Holly Mr shmickson's outside and- oh, hi Ian'

She takes in the scene in front of her and tries to back out of the room quietly.

Instead she falls over the banister and tumbles down the stairs.

I quickly call to see if she's ok and when i hear a groan in response i turn back to Ian, 'you were saying?'

'Maybe we should get your friend to a hospital?'

I was shocked that he said that. Not because it wasn't true but because when Ian was about to say something Katie hadn't fallen down the stairs yet. Maybe he's a psychic.

'Are you a psychopath?' I ask him.

'No i'm a pedophile' He responds.

I sigh in relief, at least he's not insane like i thought.

We rush Katie to hospital. Unfortunately Ian's dad had to drive us because i can't legally drive so it's a surprise nothing bad happened to us in the 5 hours we drove around town.

Mr Shmickson has a special skill, I discovered, of being able to glare at me and keep his eyes on the road at the same time.

I decide to prank him so i flash my phone torch in his eyes which temporarily blinds him and we crash into a nearby lorry.

Whoops.