Bad Things

Chapter 9

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Nine
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I spent the rest of the week studying and binge-watching TV shows, more of an attempt to stop thinking about him every second. In the span of one week, my journal was nearly running out of pages. A record-setting week. I kept writing everything and everything, about nature, about Jay, about college and lectures, about Jay, about mom and dad, and then about Jay and our kisses, about Drew and yes, about Jay again. I was dying to see him once again. All these questions in my head were begging for answers, keeping me on my toes, anxious, and restless.

God, the effect he has on me.

At some point, I felt like I should talk to Drew about him but I couldn't bring myself to, knowing he wouldn't be very pleased to hear the story, given that he'd even warned me against people like Jay. Drew was that one person who knew me inside-out, my strong tower of comfort ever since childhood but this time around, he didn't seem to be the right person to talk to. Or maybe I was just afraid that he'd say Jay is bad news for me.

Vanessa and I went with Drew and Jarvis to a birthday party on Sunday. The boy's parents had rented a night club for his big day and all through the week, every kid in college had been buzzing about it. Everybody was invited. Even the third year students came so it was a pretty big party. I got a text invitation too. Carli had gone out to be with Grayson with a promise that she would show up later on. I sat with Vanessa and some other girls for a while, talking, trying drinks, and later I joined Drew and Jarvis at the pool table, watching them play.

The dancefloor was packed with sweaty people, jumping and dancing, almost sticking to one another, making out. . . everybody looked high and on drugs. I figured it's the vibe of the club that makes people behave like this. Kids drink a shot and get higher than the mountain like they wouldn't last night. Screams and electro music from the DJ, blue and red laser lights jap at my heart but I found myself getting bored in such a turbulent place.

"Hey, look! Nathan is finally here. I've been looking for him," Vanessa gushed under her breath as she took another sip from the red cup in her hand.

"Who's Nathan?"

"Are you serious? Nathan from third year? He's like the hottest guy in campus like. . . seriously. You don't know him?!" Out of euphoria and infatuation, she crumples the cup in her hand, causing the liquid to squirt down her arm.

I moved away and gasped at her, "Are you serious?"

"This is what he does to me. I really can't."

In the next minute, I found myself checking out Nathan with Vanessa. He was handsome with the face of a heartbreaker and tall, but funnily, I further found myself comparing him to Jay. Vanessa was nearly passing out next to me, hand on her heart, while I watched Nathan even harder and tried to seek out that something, that core element which was supposed to capture my heart, that I found in Jay the very moment I laid eyes on him. I just didn't find it in Nathan. And then I wondered where Jay could be.

I hadn't thought of Jay's look at all before. I'd say Nathan had the kind of a beautiful face that's quite irresistible and arresting while every speck and feature of Jay seemed to cut and tear you into shreds with the way he looks at you, speaks to you, with the way he breathes. . . and the fact that he exists wouldn't leave you until he has disarmed you to the very last bit. Even the mere thought of him had my heart racing. I didn't want to admit it but I knew I missed him.

Vanessa and I stalked Nathan on Instagram for a while as she sighs and cries over each of his pictures. Carli finally arrived with Grayson and she spotted us at the table. I went to get us drinks and when I came back, I accidentally knocked into, out of all the people, Nathan, spilling the drinks all over his shirt.