Thoughts

Five Years ago

Wie angekündigt, ist die Storry auf Englisch. Sorry dafür. Ich hab noch eine Storry auf Vorrat, dann muss ich erstmal wieder ein Thema haben worüber ich meine Gedanken los werden will...

Fife years ago, there was a girl who came in grammar school without knowing anybody. She was different and she know it, but no one else did. She also didn't know what exactly is different at her. Two years past one. She had a guy in her class and sit next to him in tis year. They start getting friends, but soon she knows he is more than a friend to her. The year past and in the summer holydays she figures out, that she loves him. Not knowing this would be the point which will change everything and she would wish to never figured this out, later. It has to come the point where he has to find out about her feelings and it came. She already knows that she is 'only' a good friend to him, but it hurts when he said it to her. It was the first break to her hart without recognising it. The years passed on and he hurt her over and over again, not knowing it. At one point she recognised it, that he breaks her hart not only once. It changed her al lot. Maybe that's the point why her Family and all people around her starts to hurt her too, not recognising it. It goes on for years and she didn't have anyone to talk about it. So there comes the time she starts thinking about how to compensate the pain. Well there was only one option. Hurt your self in another way everyone else did. She told her thoughts to a good friend, she knows nearly here howl life, but didn't see him much. He promised to be there fore her. This was the time when she learned not to trust others words. Yes, he said he will be there for her, but where was he when she needs him? Right he had fun with his friends. So, she hurts herself more often to compensate the pain. In summer from year eight to year nine she saw a primary class mate again. They understand each other very quick, but it did not help to warn her and remember the last time trusting anyone to quick. So, she told him everything and he was there for her. So much that she thought she found the person to trust always and the person who would be always there for her. But then came the point where she was hardly reminded to the point not to trust anyone, because they only hurt you. Tis was the point where she also recognised, what is different about here and that she is on the floor for a while now, because in that time nobody stops hurting her without knowing it. What was different at her? Well its not so easy. Not easy to explain but even harder to understand. The thing which is different at her is, that she likes to be alone. When she is alone, she can grow strength and with others she gets drained. She also recognised that she hates the human rase more then any other tings in the world. It's called schizoid personality disorder.