Forgiveness

Together Forever

Seth held onto Dean tightly, at first Dean tensed at the contact, but after a few seconds he relaxed into Seth's embrace, as Seth spoke.

 "I could never stop loving you Dean!" Seth said crying as he held tightly to Dean, suddenly he felt Dean's body shake with silent tears. "We need to talk...at least I do! Will you let me?" Seth asked wiping his tears away as he looked at Dean.

 "Yeah." Dean whispered as he wiped away his own tears.

 "I'll go get us some coffee and we'll talk okay?"

 "Okay." Dean answered as Seth stood.

15 minutes later they sat at either end of the couch holding their coffee's Seth had waited for this moment for so long, and now that he was here with Dean he suddenly couldn't form the words as he looked into Dean's eyes.

 "There is no excuse for what I did, and I'd do anything to go back in time and change it, but I can't! None of this was your fault Dean, you have to believe me? I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone and you've made me so happy; other than Rome no one knows me like you! This last year since the Shield really exploded into what it is, I...I've felt lonely, all we ever had time to do was work; yeah we work together, but that's all we did! I know I should have said something to you then, but I couldn't! We worked so hard to get where we are in the WWE, and I felt like I was complaining that our dream came true. So, I continued acting like nothing was wrong, but as days past and nothing changed I...I thought you had pulled away from me and that you...didn't love me anymore! Then somehow things changed and we began to make time to be Dean and Seth the couple again, not just the Shield and I was finally happy! I felt like we were finding each other again, and my fears of losing you disappeared! I was so excited when we were given that day off months ago, I had made so many plans, I wanted to go to the club with you to have fun and finally be alone with you! I know it sounds girly, but I bought a new outfit and spent a long time getting ready so I'd look good for our date...for you! Then when you blew me off, it wasn't because of the club, it felt like you were blowing me off! All my old fears of losing you came back, again I should have told you instead of getting angry and walking out, but I was hurt and thought if you didn't care, why should I? So, I went to the club and tried to convince myself I could have a good time without you, I failed miserably and after standing in a corner for a couple hours I decided to go home. I went to leave when I bumped into...him!" Seth said pausing, he sighed shakily. "I didn't go looking to meet anyone, but I did and he said things I missed hearing from you, he said things that made me feel special! I let myself go and had fun, I drank to escape and I got beyond drunk and..."

 "I know what happened, you don't need to go into details!" Dean said sadly cutting him off, he didn't look at Seth he kept his eyes on his coffee.

 "The next day when I found out what happened I...I felt like the biggest piece of shit! I had never cheated before, hell I never even looked at anyone like that! When I saw you the next day the thought of losing you killed me, but the thought of how much knowing would hurt you was 100 times worse, and I couldn't tell you! So, I tried to get rid of my guilt, I became the boyfriend you deserved, but I hadn't been for a long time! Things were better then they ever were between us and I couldn't ruin it by telling you. I didn't have to though, he did, I never wanted you to find out that way Dean; especially from him! In a sick, and twisted way I'm glad he did though, because you deserved to know the truth about your asshole boyfriend, since I was too cowardly to tell you myself! I deserved everything that happened and more, but despite it all I loved...love you! Nothing will change that, you're the only one I want and if I can't have you...than I'll spend the rest of my life alone! Dean I'm so sorry, you could never hate me as much as I hate myself!" Seth said as his tears fell silently.