(A/N Hello, hello peeps! Are you ready for another fanfic? No? Why are you here? Jk, jk. Enjoy! Ps. Blue talks in caps, but is only yelling when the caps are bold)
"MY GOAL IN LIFE? OH! TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! MISS ALPHYS SAYS I'M MAKING GREAT PROGRESS! I SHOW HER MY MOVES AND PATTERNS EVERY NOW AND THEN."
That's my answer when someone asks me what I want to do with my life. Truth is... I don't know. I have no clue what I want with my life. If you could call it a life anyway. If faking happiness all day and running away to secretly drink until you pass out every night can be considered a life, then I don't know what to do with it. I don't think I'm covering my trail as well as I used to either, Alphys mentioned that I haven't been coming to see her at all and Pappy noticed that I smelt like alcohol the other day. I just waved it off, saying I had been to Fell's place and his Pap had spilled some wine on my jacket. Even the other Star Sanses had noticed I'm not as "hyper", despite being oblivious little shits most of the time. Heh... after my failed secret relationship with Killer, who ended up being abusive and a rapist, my life kind of fell apart. I rotated the bottle in my hand. How many had I had tonight? I glance around my floor, trying to count the bottles, but my vision was starting to be annoyingly blurry.
"FUCK!!!" I yell, slamming my hand on the wall.
I was lucky Pappy was out again. He almost always goes out for smoke walk right around now, allowing me to have this "party". He knows nothing about it of course, not with his relationship blinding him. I stagger to my feet and start shoving the empty bottles under the bed and taking the last, long swig from the one in my hand before shoving it under as well. I crawl into bed and just manage to pull the covers over my head when I pass out again into a dreamless slumber.
I wake with a groan, rubbing my head. Hangovers are horrible. I slide my feet out and stretch. At least I don't have to get up early and wake Pappy anymore. He'd rather sleep late anyway. I slip on some socks and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth a lot and run a quick shower before getting dressed. I head back into my room and scoop out the bottles. Ugh... I drank six last night? Man, it's gonna be hard to keep this a secret soon. I open my window and dump the bottles into the trash can I purposefully leave a little open. Pappy didn't even question it when I took over trash duty. Less work for him. Heh, Lazybones. I yawn and trudge downstairs to make some breakfast. After a... mostly edible breakfast, I tell Pappy I'm heading to the Star Base and leave. I'm really headed to UnderFell for my job. Gotta have some way to pay for the drink. The work is grueling, but it pays pretty well. The people of UnderFell are actually quite nice once you get past their prickly exterior. By now, most of the citizens are familiar with me and have extra work I can do. I won't get anywhere near Fell and his Pap though. They would use my secret as blackmail and probably not even pay me. Fucking jerks. I head to Alphys' place. Her being the royal scientist in this universe is so weird, but since she's in the king's employment she can pay very well and she always has a lot of work to do. Also, my being there takes her attention off of Mettaton and her arm. I keep telling her she's gotta stop that habit, but she only growls out a snippy response. Lucky that Ink has Error to distract him and Dream is busy shipping them, otherwise they may have come to my house to ask Pappy where I am. Since they're always busy though, my excuses stand.
Ugh. Alphys is in a bad mood today. One of her experiments didn't work out and it blew up the minor test room. Now she's having me go to the drabber side of town to go through the dump and find more parts. A whole laundry list of things to find. What even is a hyper drive decelerator? Oh well, she put the values she'd give me for each part. Holy shit! For eight matching wheels she'll give me 5,000 gold?!? She must really want these for a major part of the project. I carefully scan the list and memorize it before tucking it in my pocket and starting my search. After an hour and forty two minutes I have found three items on the list. Good thing I was able to grab a watch pretty cheap, or else I would have stayed here all day. I put the things in a trash bag and start lugging it out, my small size making it hard to lift the metal.
"What cha doing here, short stuff?"
I whip around, dropping the bag with a loud clatter. Ugh, it's Fell.
"THAT, MEANIE, IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" I huff, trying to lift the bag back up.
Fell laughs and watches me struggle for a while until he gets annoyed and lifts it with one hand. He squints at me and I could see that he suspected something was off.
"THANKS! I'M JUST TAKING IT TO THE PORTAL FOR UNDERSWAP! PAPPY'S BEEN WORKING ON A BIG PROJECT AND ASKED ME TO GET SOME STUFF. BUT THERE'S, LIKE, NOTHING AT ALL IN OUR DUMP. WE'RE VERY... CLEAN, IN UNDERSWAP" I lie smoothly, grinning.
Fell grunts some sort of response and his expression clears up a bit. I mean, who could doubt this "innocent smile" and "adorable voice" of mine? He carries it to the portal and I grab the bag from him.
"THANKS FOR THE HELP, FELL! I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, GREATLY APPRECIATES IT!" I call after him, waving like a fucking idiot.
I wait awhile and when he's out of sight I drag the bag back to the lab and collect my pay. I take the long way home and when I get there Pappy is gone. I head up to my room and flop on the bed with a sigh. After a while, I get up and tuck the money into my locking drawer and open my fridge. Only twelve bottles left, I'll have to refill tomorrow before heading to Alphys' lab. I head outside and take a walk to the shop, only partially aware I was being watched.
(A/N Hello, hello! Thank you for reading and please bear with any inconsistencies as I have not thought this story through. Constructive criticism or feedback in the comments please!)
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Constant Heartache (SwapxFell) ~Completed!~
FanfictionBlueberry was always considered bubbly and childish, but what is he hiding? Is that happy grin a cover for a deeper pain? Who can save him from despair? (Mature rating for heavy drinking, abusive relationships, and other sensitive topics.)