Drowning

Chapter 8: Ambushed

R A I N E

Friday, like most others, is my favourite day of the week. Yesterday, however, was among the most dramatic Fridays of my life from start to finish. I'm still thinking about my visit to the grocery store as I emerge from my bedroom and collapse onto the couch in front of the television.

Oh, hell, what am I going to do if Aidan asks me about last night? Did he even catch onto what his manager was saying about me? What if—

"Raine?"

I crane my neck to look my mom, who's standing behind the couch and hovering over my head. Oh, no. Why is she giving me that look? Did she somehow find out about last night? 

She holds out her ringing phone. My eyes flicker to the contact's name, and I'm immediately shaking my head no. This is much worse than her finding out about what happened at the grocery store last night.

"Raine, come on. It's been a year, sweetheart," Mom sighs, walking around the couch so she can sit beside me. "She's not a stranger. She's your aunt. She doesn't blame you for what happened."

"Mom, please," I shake my head again. "You know I can't."

The ringing stops. She frowns at me and pulls her legs up on the couch and tucks a few strands of my hair behind my ear. "How long will this go on?"

I shrug and break eye contact. I'd much rather embarrass myself in front of Aidan again than have this conversation, but Mom will never let this drop.

"I'm not ready to talk to her or Uncle Matthew, Mom. I just need a little more time,"

Just a little more time. Is that too much to ask for?

"You'll never be ready if you keep this up. Look at Candy! She isn't afraid of pools or seas. I'm tired of telling my sister you can't talk to her. I'm tired of looking into your sad eyes. Just get into a pool and—"

"You weren't there, Mom, were you?" I snap, fed up with her pushy side. "You didn't watch her drown. I did. I was the one who let her. I listened to her screams. I saw and heard her skull crack open. It was me. Not you, not Dad, not Candy. It. Was. Me."

It was me.

I seemed to be so caught up in my rant that I hadn't even noticed my eyes were stinging until the tears stream down my cheeks like raindrops racing on the windshield of a car.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry," Mom wipes away my tears with her hand and wraps her arms around me, stroking my hair until I've calmed down.

"What's going on here?" Dad peeks into the living room as I pull away from Mom's hug. His face drops when he sees me. "Raine? What happened? Are you okay?"

Quick! Use this to your advantage!

"Yeah, Dad," I sniff, blowing my nose with a tissue that Mom had handed me. "Though I could really use a burrito while I drown in my misery, you know?"

Within a second, he's out the door while putting his jacket on with his car keys in hand.

"Don't forget to get me one too!" Mom calls after him. She turns back to me, mirroring my wicked grin. "I think your friends are a very bad influence on you."

"But you love them," I grin, the stuffiness beginning to go away.

"That, I do," Mom nods, leaning back on the couch. Her expression turns serious again. "Sweetie, her death wasn't your fault. Please stop blaming yourself. No one else does, and Gemma wouldn't want you to."