Love Is A Curious Thing

Another Wedding?

*Wow.. the song is such a perfect fit! Give it a listen for this chapter! Hope you all enjoy!

I walk ahead of the pack, my good mood completely nonexistent after everything that just happened. I also feel a little stupid. I know Jake had said over and over again he didn't feel anything for Bella, but his reactions tonight tell me there's still a piece of him that still cares for her. Whether that be as a friend or something more, there's still a place in his heart for her. And I don't want to sound possessive, or crazy, but.. I shouldn't feel like I'm competing for his attention...Right?

"Addy—" Jake cuts through the silence of our walk back, but is quickly shut down. 

"What were you thinking?" Sam cuts him off gruffly, the Alpha tone underlying the question, and the boys around me flinch slightly. 

"Sam, it goes against—" Jake tries to reason and Sam turns around frustration evident in his dark eyes.

"A honeymoon doesn't go against anything Jacob."

"They plan to change her Sam. That goes against our treaty." Jake counters firmly and apparently upset. I understand going against the treaty, but he's letting his feelings cloud his judgement, because that is no reason for him to lash out like he did tonight.

"Then we will deal with their decisions, when the time comes. Not before anything happens.  You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement." Sam states in finality, placing a hand on his shoulder and Jake just shakes his head, but decides to keep quiet, even though I can tell he's fuming underneath. 

I decide to head inside and up to my room, not wanting to hear about the wedding anymore.  I begin to brush out my hair and begin to take off my jewelry, placing my dress back in the closet, disappointment weighing me down as I do so. Looking at myself in the vanity, I reflect on what happened tonight and realize there is truth in Leah's words from the other day. I'm going to be dealing with Bella as long as I'm with Jake... I sigh in disappointment not really knowing how to feel about everything, especially tonight. Not forgetting how Jake acted when he found out about the whole honeymoon thing... I know he has a big heart and will always care, but I don't know if I can keep doing this... I'm not going to keep trying to fight for his attention. It is too mentally exhausting. As I make eye contact with myself in the mirror, my resolve becomes firm and there is suddenly a slight knocking on my door. 

"Yeah?" I mumble knowing the majority of people in this house would be able to hear me. I hear the door click open and I see Jake's somber face poke through the frame. 

"Can we talk?" He asks meekly as I wipe the light make-up from my face, looking back at him through the mirror. 

"Sure, Jake." I reply, turning to face him as he shuts my door behind him, sadness and worry flooding off of him in waves. The room lapses into silence and my anxiety prickles the back of my neck, making me ball my hands in fists to keep them out of my hair.  

"I am sorry for how I acted tonight. I had no right getting so worked up and embarrassing the two of us, especially you. You didn't deserve it. For that, I am so sorry." He states all of this in one breath, and I feel the sincerity from him and my heart is torn. I believe him, but I am too mentally and emotionally drained at this point, and I don't think this conversation can wait any longer. 

"I appreciate that, and I appreciate you coming and apologizing, but Jake..." I pause trying to figure out how to say the words that are bouncing around in my mind, knowing full well my wolf is staring at me with distraught eyes. I sigh, pulling my hair slightly, my heart and mind full-on battling. 

"I--I can't do this." I force out around the stone in my chest, and watch as his face pales. "I can't keep feeling like I'm fighting for your attention or your affections Jake. It's killing me." A slight relief is felt as I get the words out, but it is quickly overshadowed by his pain and devastation, and I have to look away from the shattered look in his eyes. 

"Adelaide-- you aren't fighting for--" His voice breaks on my name, causing my heart to twist painfully before I interject. 

"But I am Jake. You might not have romantic affections toward Bella, but there is still something between the two of you, and tonight proved she still has a very controlling piece over your decisions. And until you can come to terms with that, I can't keep putting my heart into this round and round tumbler, because all I'm going to get out of this are bruises I can't fix." I state in finality, a weight being lifted even though my love for him remains. 

"I understand the imprint and how we are meant to be connected, I feel that too, so much. But--but maybe we made the wrong decision about what kind of imprint it was... Maybe your heart can't handle an imprint while it yearns for Bella. And who knows, maybe once she's finally a part of the Cullen's your heart can move on, but as of right now, I can't." 

The words tumble out of my mouth faster than I thought possible, not giving him any time to interject or argue back, and by the end of my confession, we both have tears in our eyes, both completely broken by this revelation. We sit in this silence for a couple moments, only the sniffles of our noses as he holds back tears, but mine begin to trail down my face, and he finally reaches for my hand. 

And he just holds it, warming my chilled fingers in his grasp, he looks down at our hands before looking back at me and my tears come faster as I see the destroyed look in his eyes, both of us knowing what I've said is more true than we originally thought. 

"I'm so sorry. Can I promise you one thing?" He asks quietly, his thumb trailing warmth on my fingers, I don't respond and just watch the emotions on his face. 

"I promise you we didn't make a mistake. I promise you I will get myself in order, to be a better imprint, a better man for you. I promise to keep loving you, no matter how much time you might need, so that we can get this right next time. And I want you to keep this promise," He says as he kisses his mothers ring on my finger. "So that you remember I haven't forgotten my promise to you, I'm just working on the promises I just made you." 

I close my eyes, the tears overflowing down my cheeks and I feel his warm hand reach up and gently wipe them from my face before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. For a second I almost reconsider the entire conversation, wanting him to stay beside me and pretend that this never happened. But as I feel his warmth leave, I'm shocked into the reality of what just happened, and know it was in the best interest for the two of us, but it still leaves a raw and jagged hole in my chest.    

As the door clicks, the tears break forth and bring a heart-wrenching sob along with them. I make it onto my bed through blurry eyes, curling up with my stuffed wolf and the blankets that smell of my wolf, and cry harder than I have since my father died. Burying the sobs into my pillowcases, I can't quite think clearly about anything, other than the feel of the bond on my heart, vibrating with agony from both ends. 

I'm not so sure there will be another wedding, but I'm hoping for it...