Love Is A Curious Thing

Moving Forward

It's been a couple days since my talk with Jake... since the day my heart shattered in two... and I don't know how to feel. Lost? Empty? Miserable? A combination of all of them I guess..? I've been avoiding the wolf pack as much as I could, just not being able to answer any questions, knowing they no doubt get it from the psych-link with Jake. I talked with Emily for a little about it all, but I just didn't wanna bring it up any more, so she's left me alone. It's been weird... the emotions, the feelings I've been having–not only mine, but Jake's as well..

He hasn't really been around. Other than meals and patrol, I feel like he's been staying at home, doing what, I don't know. I hope he's working through his feelings, as I look at the ring on my finger I hope he figured it out and we can move past the issue that is Bella Swan.

I can feel the strain on our bond, but I can still feel our love and it gives me a bit of hope, that everything will be okay. I jump at the sudden knocking at the door, at turn on my bed to find Sam standing in my doorway with a soft smile. 

"Can I come in?"

"Of course Sam". I say with a small smile, rolling over to give him my full attention. He comes in and sits beside me on the bed, placing a warm hand on my shoulder. 

"How are you? Aside from everything that happened." He hurries when he sees slight irritation on my face at being asked the same question again. 

"I'm alright. It's a little weird being so overwhelmed with two sets of emotions, but I'm learning to handle it." He nods, moving to rub my back in comfort, looking like he understands all the emotional ties when dealing with things like this. 

"That's good. I don't know if I can say the same for Jake, but I can say he has been doing nothing but working on himself and all that you requested. It's the one perk of being able to see inside each other's heads most times." He smirks, before laughing slightly and I smile knowing that Jake has been taking it seriously, and this whole hiatus thing might not last as long as I originally thought. 

"That's nice to hear. I feel bad for placing both of us in this situation, but I really needed to know that he was serious about us and not going to become too consumed with Bella.. with my rubbish history with boys, I just wanted to protect myself." I mutter, but I know Sam can still hear me, and he nods in understanding. 

"I get that, and I think he understands. I also believe the two of you will be stronger after this."

"Really?" I ask wondering how this will help us in the future, other than the fact of not having to worry about Bella.

"Absolutely. If you guys can reconnect after this kind of break, your bond will not only become stronger, but the trust you two will have created during this will be beneficial in coming events." He speaks of this as if he already knows how things will play out, how our lives together will be and that kinda gives me some reassurance of what's to come. 

"Thanks Sam. I really hope you're right."

"Oh I know I am." He says with a smirk while getting up from my bed. "Why don't you come down for dinner, and maybe give Jake just a little reassurance that he's moving in the right direction." He smiles, and I think about it shortly before nodding with a small, determined smile and follow him downstairs. 

My nose is assaulted by the wonderful smell of Emily's homemade lasagna, and for the first time since the wedding I am truly excited to be out of my room and interacting with my family, and am really glad I listened to my uncle. I head for the kitchen to see if Em needs any help with dinner and she greets me with a warm smile and a tight hug.

"I'm so happy you're joining us tonight Addy. I've missed having you to tame the boys." We laugh together, knowing what she says is true and as I offer my help, she puts me in charge of putting the garlic bread in the oven and keeping the wolves out of the kitchen. 

We chat to pass the time until we hear the sounds of yips coming from outside, signaling the boys are back from patrol and I brace myself for the insanity no doubt about to ensue. The room is suddenly filled with warm and inviting chatter and laughter, the boys making fun of each other for some reason, which is admittedly normal, and makes me smiling knowing that I've missed this. 

"Hey Em." Choruses out before one of them, Embry actually, pokes his head around the wall and notices me beside our friend. "Addy!"He wastes no time in embracing me tightly, making me laugh at the suddenness and in hearing my name shouted from the others beside us. 

"How ya feeling' loca?" Jared asks as I am moved from the kitchen to the small dining room, and the boys have crowded around my seat, only to cause Leah to roll her eyes at their overprotectiveness. 

"I'm fine, guys. I just needed a mental break, no biggie." I smile, but I still notice Leah's eyebrow jump slightly, telling me she didn't really buy it. Like I've said before, she's too perceptive for her own good. They quickly accept my answer and the chatter returns to normal before Emily brings in the food, and suddenly I'm surrounded by hungry wolves ready to tackle the petite woman to get to her lasagna. She smacks the reaching hands away from the food, warning them to wait until Sam and the others get here, so we can eat together as a family. To this they groan and mumble about starving to death, causing me to giggle and realize how important these people are to me. 

We hear the back door slide open and shut and that's when the boys around me become rowdy again for food knowing it's the rest of their brothers who have finally showed up, and like Em said, they waited until they showed up before diving in. Sam comes behind me and squeezes my shoulder telling me he's happy to see me downstairs with everyone again, and as I reach for a piece of garlic bread, before it's all gone mind you, I make eye contact with Jake from across the table. My heart stutters and I see so much emotion move through his warm brown eyes, but I no longer see the burden he carried before this and that makes me smile towards him which he returns softly. 

In this moment I'm reassured that everything will turn out just fine, and maybe now Jake and I can simply focus on being Jake and I.