Escaping Expectations

Chapter 1

There I stood, in a beautiful white gown, looking at the young man with hair as white as the freshly fallen snow. I could feel his warmth through his innocent, crooked smile. He extended his right hand for me to take. As  our fingers got closer, his face changed suddenly, looking serious. "wake up!" he yelled at me. "What?" I asked, confused. "Wake up, for gods sake!"

That is when I, Lily Ryan, opened my eyes to my mother shaking me awake. She was very tall with large shoulders. Her short, pixie-like, hair, still nicely done from her night shift at the hospital, stood straight. Her stern expression made her wrinkles appear severe  on her caramel skin. Her flat brown eyes never reflected anything. "Finally! Get dressed and eat, the bus will be here in an hour." I rubbed my eyes and looked around, as the angry woman stormed out of the room. The boy was gone. Of course he was, what was I thinking? "Don't you fall back asleep, Lily! I'm not waking you again!" I heard my mother scream from the living room. I glanced over to my pile of folded clothes which I had spent the whole evening picking,  for today. Why was today so special, you might think? It was my first day of grade 8.

"I'm up.." I whispered as I sat on the edge of my bed. I stretched before forcing my body to stand. With a relieving sigh, I made my way to the new clothes I worked all summer for. Surely picking all those cucumbers and tomatoes had paid off. 

Yup, I worked on a farm all summer with a huge salary of 6 dollars an hour so I could get a chance to look good this year. 'Now this will make them see how cool I am! New year, new me!' I thought to myself. I looked at my reflection in the slender mirror I had placed behind my bedroom door. 'Well... almost new me.' I corrected myself. I looked at my face in the glass in disappointment. I put my ripped jeans on and my new red t-shirt I had picked because I really loved the cool printed design in the front. I finally combed my long, brown hair and straighten them to flatten those crazy waves I had back then.

I never liked the way those hair of mine fell and they were very long so they would always get stuck somewhere or tangled up. Nevertheless, I was still satisfied with what I managed to look like for my first day! 'Should I start tying them up?' I thought, 'It would definitely help me look different. Let's try.'  I proceeded to holding my hair up and revealed my whole face. I dropped them as fast as I had caught them. 'Oh god, no. Never mind that! This is way too revealing.' I placed my hair back, like they where supposed to be. Looking at my work with satisfaction for the last time, I smiled to myself and said "You got this." Then I left my room to meet mother, in the kitchen.

"Are you really going to wear those jeans for school?" Mom said, looking at the holes in them with disgust. "It's trendy right now, mom. It's cool." She snorted at me "You look homeless, not cool." But I just ignored the comment and got myself some cereals. I must have ate three bowls before putting the dishes in the dishwasher and hurried to brush my teeth with my ridiculous blue snoopy toothbrush. When that was all done, I practiced smiling in the mirror for a few minutes. 'Happy smile... no that's not it'  I tried pulling the corner of my lips a bit but it only looked forced and dumb. 'Alright then.. let's do a polite smile? that should come easily.'  I looked at myself dead in the eye as I pulled off the best one I could manage. 'Meh. Could be worse.' 

I came out and made my way around the center counter to take my lunchbox from the fridge. I was about to leave when I heard mom say "Where's my hug?" I must admit that I hesitated for a second, but I turned towards her with the same pokite smile and hugged her quickly. "Have a nice day at school." "Thanks mom. Bye." I quickly grabbed my rundown black schoolbag and swiftly ran down the stairs.

My young high school self went outside to wait for bus number one, with the other kids living on the other side of the street.

I crossed over to meet them and wait in the usual line their foster mother forced on them so there would be no fights about who was there first. I dropped my bag in line behind a pink, polly pocket one, and started talking to one of the kids. She had a petite frame and a contagious smile. Always skipping towards people as if nothing in the world could go wrong. She made you want to protect her liveliness. "Hey Mel, how are you doing?" "Hey! I'm good, my dad is coming to see me next weekend!" As cute as this may sound, it was actually heartbreaking. I knew he would not but what else could I say? "Really? That nice."