Escaping Expectations

Chapter 2

"Lily. Take my hand.'' The young man with the white hair said to me, extending his slim fingers in my direction. I accepted it. Warmth surrounded us as we slowly levitated. Tears were forming in my eyes but I did not feel any sadness. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness, we laughed together as we elevated higher and higher, approaching the sky. I looked at the ground, now shrinking below us. He lifted my chin. "Don't you ever look down. Always look towards the sky. Look how beautiful it is." He said as he was himself, looking up. I smiled. "Lily! Wake up! For Christ's sake!"

"What?" I opened my eyes, confused. "Why do I have to wake you up every damn morning? Aren't you old enough to get up by yourself?" As my mother finished her sentence, my alarm went off. Making a terrible beeping sound. "I would have." I pointed out. "Oh... well you should have put it earlier." She said before leaving my room. 'This is going to be another awesome day.'  I thought to myself before getting up. I didn't try as hard to look good since I realized it really didn't matter. I did decide to pull my hair back in a pony tail, though. 'Maybe it's okay to tie them up.'

I proceeded in executing my morning routine and picked up my stuff. "I'm off to school." I said simply. "Where's my hug?" She said monotonously. I walked up to her and gave her a quick hug before leaving. "Learn to smile!" She called at me but I ignored it. At the door, I looked at my basket ball for a second. 'Should I take it?'  I asked myself as I hesitated. 'Nah, I won't be able to play anyway.'  On this thought, I walked out to take the bus.

I was looking out the window during the ride to school when I felt a hand tap my shoulder. "Hey Lily! You seem out of it today." It was Morgane, she was always nice to me. She was on my basket ball team and a year younger than I was. I guess she never saw me as the loser. We usually hung out in the bus and sing along to our favourite songs, even though that sounds really corny. Anyway, at school we went our separate ways. It's only natural since we were not in the same grade. She had her friends and I had my books, Nintendo DS, and music. "Hi Morgane. Sorry, I was lost in thoughts. Were you talking to me?" I asked, trying to smile. "Uh, Yeah! I was telling you about how Matt has changed during the summer! Oh my god! Did you see how hot he turned out?!" "Oh, I haven't. Are you going to ask him out?" She looked at me like I was crazy and blurred out. "Are you insane? As if I was even in the same league!" I looked at the stunning young lady sitting beside me and hit her head softly. "Don't you ever say that again, you dumb dumb! You are one hot chick! If he doesn't see that, he's a complete idiot!" I smiled at her and she reciprocated the gesture. "Thanks, Lil." I know she meant it.

We enjoyed the rest of the ride listening to music.

*****

History has always been my worst enemy. As a topic and also because of who the teacher was. He loved to pick on me for some reason. I am the person who just can't read out loud and he enjoyed making me read all the time. Thanks to him, his class was nicknamed 'the stutter show'. I tend to stutter a lot when I am under pressure or I get nervous. That is why I usually don't talk when I am. Unfortunately, this asshole, Mr. Diamond, does not take no for an answer. His rat-like facial features, behind his thick square glasses, smirking down at me as I carry out the task of reading the biggest paragraph in the chapter were nerve wracking. Sighs around the classroom were heard and I gave my all to ignore them and concentrated in reading slower to have a better flow.

"For someone who reads all the fucking time, she sounds like an illiterate bitch." "I know right..." 'Shut up.'  They can't understand the pressure. "Seriously, why does he make her read? It's so fucking long!" They kept whispering. 'I'm gonna stall if they continue..' "Why did she stop?" That's when I realized I had already stalled. "Lily?" Mr. Diamond said. "Would you mind finishing?" 'Why are you doing this to me?'  I could feel my face and whole body burning up in shame. 'Why do I always feel like it's my fault? I want to run away.'  I could hear them whispering among themselves "How embarrassing! Look how red she is!" Giggles spread across the room as I kept my eyes on the words I was supposed to read. "Seriously though can't she just get it over with?" 'Shut up!' A hand reached out to me from my right side. "Lily?" It was Sandy. She was talking softly and lightly touched my arm but I pulled away. She hesitated and started reading where I had left off. "Sandy, this is not yours to read." The history teacher said firmly but she ignored him and continued. I was too ashamed to look up, then felt the tears flood my eyes as I started to shake. 'Why am I like this?'  Sandy reached for my hand under the table as she read in a steady voice, ignoring the whispers going around. I felt relieved and embarrassed at the same time. My hand was sweaty from the stress yet she still held it tightly as she read. I didn't know what to make of this. All I could think about was to run away but even the idea of this seemed mortifying. If I stayed, I would continue to feel the growing pain in my stomach and the burning feeling of shame in my body. I will also be dragging Sandy down with me if I accept her help. If I do storm out of here, I will be the laughing stock for the rest of the year at least, and also will probably be sent to the principals office. Then my mom will get involved and things will all go south. "Hey?" Sandy whispered. "Are you ok?" I nodded once and looked away in humiliation. That's when the bell rang and I picked my books up.