It took Alan awhile to comprehend what was happening. But it was true, Eric was kissing him! He didn't know how to respond, Eric seemed so sincere, then it hit him. He couldn't do this, he couldn't be with Eric this way. He was going to die and that would already hurt Eric enough! But if he kissed back he knew he'd make it worse. And he couldn't do that to him, he didn't want to hurt him more than he already would now.
So Alan made his decision, he stayed unmoving and unresponsive, hoping the kiss would end soon. Once Eric pulled away he put on his best shocked face, hoping to convince the blond that he didn't feel the same, though on the inside his heart was screaming at him to do something. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked up at Eric, his expression was heartbreaking.
Eric's eyes widened once he noticed the tears starting to stream down Alan's face and suddenly he had no idea what to do. He never meant to hurt Alan, quite the opposite actually, and now he was sitting there crying.
"Alan...I'm so sorry! I shoulda stopped sooner I know- but-.....I'm sorry!" Eric stumbles over his words, never being one that was good in conveying his feelings.
"I-it's not that!" Alan replied whilst wiping the tears from his eyes, "It was just unexpected is all..." He looked away from Eric's face to try and hide his lie. "I'm not upset, if that's what you're worried about."
"Then why are you crying?"
"It's nothing," Alan stated, getting up from his spot on the couch and quickly making his way to the door. "I should get going. It's getting late," he called over his shoulder as he slipped on his shoes.
Eric stood there for a moment as Alan flew past him turning to watch him basically run to the door. With so many thoughts running through his mind he barely caught what the smaller reaper had said causing him to sprint for the entrance and grab Alan's sleeve to stop him from walking out the now opened front door.
Desperate for anything to say to keep the brunet from leaving Eric blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, "I thought we were having a sleepover?"
"I just remembered that I have the early shift tomorrow," Alan tugged his arm free from Eric's hold as he stepped outside into the cool brisk winter air, "have a good night."
And with that he hurried down the road to reach the safety of his own home, leaving a confused and heartbroken blond alone on his doorstep.
YOU ARE READING
Figuring It Out (Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji fanfic)
FanfictionEric is trying to find a way to cope with this new information of Alan having a deadly illness of which there is no cure. But he might just be having some difficulties, especially when his "friendship" with his partner seems to be growing.
