To my lost lover (only if it was real)

Page 2

September 9, 1990
Stans P.O.V

    After I told Bill I was 'gonna use the bathroom', I went to his locker to put a secret admirer letter that I should've done a long time ago. It had a poem in it written by yours truly. After finding a way to put the letter in, I went to the boys restroom to replay what the events that happened to see if I just ruined my life or not. I paced the floor battling my mind. I went over to the sink and poured cold, refreshing water all over my face then carefully wiped it off my face. 'I've liked him science 7'th grade' I told myself. " We aren't Normal friends... Were different. ' My mind makes a good argument.Were in Ninth grade now, He knows I'm gay and I know he's Bi, we all do just like how Richie and Eddie are open about people knowing that there dating.'He could like me . . . .' I stick with this sentence a little longer in my head. Pondering over the possibility's if this was, in fact, True. I fixed my hair ( even if it sometimes doesn't cooperate). I think he'll like the poem. I spent hours on it even though it's kinda short. I walk out of the bathroom, thinking 'oh great now I gotta lie to Bill'. I hate lying to Bill. I'll just say something on the fly if he asks anything. It's gonna be hard for me to be vague with him and not blush. He's so oblivious when I'm blushing. It's like : "How can you NOT see me blushing your right in front of me with that cute little smile of yours." The next thing I know is now I'm heading back into the cafeteria. I push open the big blue and white doors to hear the chitter chatter the can go on for miles. I walk over to the table and sit down next to a sleepy Bill. He plops his head Down on my shoulder and falls asleep fast. I scooped my arm around his waist to bring him closer to me It felt nice and warm, like Blanket warm. I took his right hand and intertwined it with my left. In that moment I felt happy, pure, I couldn't hear any conversation Richie was sparking up. I didn't care that my face probably looked like a big tomato or that Derry's a homophobic Town and that my dad is slightly part of that, But my religion is SOOO Homophobic. I didn't even care about Bowers and what he could do to us and his obnoxious friends. All that matters was the beautiful angel I wish I could Call mine.