Alex Turner - Songs Imagines

Crawlin'

*Listen to "Do I Wanna Know"- Arctic Monkeys*

You enter the club and look around for your friends. You're late. They tried to convince you all week to go out tonight and, at the last moment, you decided to go. They actually tried for weeks, but since the break up you haven't been exactly in the mood.

It's one of your best friends' birthday, so you forced yourself to go, even though you try really hard to avoid this part of town. The chances of running into him around here are pretty high and that would be too painful.

The night is going well, you're actually having a really good time and some well deserved fun. It feels great after weeks of misery.

****
Alex is on the other side of that same club, drinking with some friends and a date. At some point he walks to the bar and he sees you as you get your drink and go back to your friends.

His hearts sinks. He freezes on the spot for a few seconds.
He follows you with his eyes, dying to walk up and talk to you, hug you. Kiss you. Again.
All this time, he never stopped hoping that you still loved him and would take him back. Do I wanna know? He asks himself.
You were very clear about why you wouldn't be back, and it made a lot of sense. But maybe...if he talked to you... Unless there are some aces up me sleeve, what the fuck I'm I even trying to do? It's just gonna hurt both of us.

But he's a little drunk and he's not going to make sound decisions.
He sees you leaving your group and walking outside. He rushes after you.

****
You go out to take a call but hang up right away: spam call. Ugh. Go figure.
"Y/n?"
You turn your head and see him, Alex, rushing out of the door. Fuck. You paralyze for a second.
"Alex...? How...how are you?" you can't offer more than a nervous smile.
He looks great. His hair is a little longer now but nicely combed and his outfit is fabulous. He looks painfully handsome. He's smiling but his eyes are sad.

"I'm...ok. I guess. What about you? It's... ehm..it's nice to see you Y/n." That sad smile is going to be dangerous, you're afraid.
"I'm ok, I'm doing...better. You look great!" you reply. You're both nervous.
"Here you are! Where did you run to?" Alex's date says, playfully, as she opens the door. Then she notices you and her smile dims. She knows who you are.
"Can you give me a minute please, Nina, I'll be right back."
"Of course, Alex." She looks back at you two, annoyed, while she gets back inside.

Nina. Ugh. A cold knife blade straight into your heart.
"Y/n...you look beautiful." That smile.
"Listen. I'm not ok. I'm fuckin' miserable if you wanna know." He says.
"Alex..."
He gets closer. "I miss you babe. I don't think there was a night, this week, that I haven't thought about you. And it's been weeks now, since...you know. I'm in deep, you have no idea. There's this song that makes me think of you, I play it on repeat, all night. It's pathetic, I know...ugh, don't tell anyone, please. I-..."
"Alex, you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying..." He's breaking your heart.

"I'm not dr-... well, a little, maybe, just enough to give me the guts to say things that I can't say tomorrow. Oh, ehm, sorry for the drunk call, by the way..." he rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed.
"Calls." You correct him.
"Right. Well, don't you ever think of callin' when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do."
You sigh. "Sometimes, yeah." you blush. "I miss you too, Alex...A lot." You feel your eyes getting wet.

He comes even closer and puts his arms around you. You rest your head on his chest and then reciprocate the hug. You can hear and feel his heart beating fast. This feels so good. It feels right. He's wearing his favorite cologne and it brings back beautiful memories.
"I wish you stayed Y/n. I love you." His voice is a little more than a whisper.

"Do you feel the same as I do, babe? I need to know. Is your heart still open?"
"You know that I love you, Alex. It wasn't you. You know that." A tear creeps down your cheek and goes dying on his shirt.
He breaks the hug and looks in your eyes. "So, we could be together if you wanted to." He caresses your cheek, wiping off the tears.
You give him a broken smile. "You know that we can't. I can't."

You loved him so much. Still do, that's why it's so painful. You miss him like crazy. You were happy with him, but you weren't happy with that life. The constant spotlight, the complete lack of privacy, the hate you received daily by the so-called fans, the never ending anxiety of judgment for anything you did and said. All of it got on you, it broke you. You were crumbling under that pressure and you just needed to get your life back.

"Do you want me crawlin' back to you, Y/n? Because I will. I already am in fact, don't you see?" there's sadness in his voice. And a little humiliation. He is indeed crawling.
"Alex do you remember my state, towards the end?"
"I do. And I understand. But we can try again, things can be better this t-..."
"You have an album coming out! And there's gonna be a tour. You're going to be under the spotlights for a long time. I can't go through that again. I was getting sick, Alex."
"I'm sorry about that."
"It wasn't your faul-..."
He lifts your chin and kisses your lips.
"Sorry to interrupt, babe."
He tries to kiss you again.

You stop him. "Alex you're here with someone."
He makes a dismissive hand wave. "It's just a date they found for me," he hints at his friends. "I haven't been going out much. They basically forced me. I don't even care. You completely got me, baby. I'm yours. I'm too busy with that to fall for somebody else."
And then his lips are on yours again.

At first you almost try to stop it, but you can't. It feels so right and you just give up the rationality and give yourself entirely to him. You throw your arms around his neck as your lips part open and your tongues meet with a sense of urgency. Your fingers in his hair, his arms tightly wrapped around you.
People going in and out of the bar stare at you.

After a while you break it and stand there hugging for a few moments, breathless. Alex is holding you tight and is stroking your back.
"I'm gonna go now." You try to pull away.
"No." He holds you even tighter.
"I am. I'm going away right now, otherwise I will never be able to, if I stay a minute longer."
You walk away and you can't see where you're going because tears fill your eyes.

****
Alex watches you going away. It's sad to see you go. Again
His hands run through his hair in despair. He lost you for the second time.
He goes back inside, to his table, carring a gloomy expression and a vacuous look in his eyes.
"Are you ok, mate?" One of his friends asks.
Without saying a word, Alex grabs his drink, chugs it all at once, slams the glass back down and grabs his jacket. "I'm getting the fuck outta here."

He is now home.
He's slouched on his settee, getting drunk and listening to that song again and again and again. Until he falls asleep.

*********************************