Love is Beautiful (She's so Ugly)

Chapter 24 : Part Four

At home Jacob saw his mother lugging a box of things. He rushed over and took it from her.

"What's inside this?" he asked.

"Just old clothes and blankets I want to throw away," his mother said.

Curious, Jacob set the box down and peered inside. There were still plenty of usable clothes and blankets. "Mind if I take these?"

"No, not at all—just don't bring them back here." She waved him off and went upstairs.

Jacob loaded the box into his car and drove to the stretch of street where he'd first found Merida — the quiet strip where kids slept under folded cardboard and thin blankets. He took the box out and walked toward the little cluster of sleeping children.

"Jacob!" one of them called, and the others stirred. They clustered around him, faces bright with curiosity.

"Hey," Jacob said, forcing a smile. "I brought blankets and clothes. Open the box."

They ooh-ed and aah-ed, grabbing what they needed and thanking him one by one.

"Where's Merida?" Lex, a seven-year-old who acted like the group's leader, asked.

Jacob watched Lex. He'd once asked the kids why they didn't go to an orphanage. They'd answered, "We made a family. We don't want to be ripped apart."

"Oh... we fought," Jacob said instead, staring at the sky for a second. "I was a fool."

The kids settled on the pavement, quiet. Then they began chattering again as Merida approached, smiling at the children. Lex beamed. "Would you look at that — she came." He ran to meet her.

Merida had brought food, as always. She sat on the blankets Jacob had given them, and the children became even more lively. Jacob sat quietly nearby, listening. He watched her with the small, helpless ache of someone who realized he'd been stupid.

"She's going to be a good mother," he thought.

"If only we could all stay together," Lex murmured to Merida later, as they lay on the pavement. Merida smoothed Lex's hair until his eyelids drooped. When Lex fell asleep she whispered, "I'll get you guys out of here one day."

Jacob and Merida sat in silence for a while. "Thanks for giving them something to sleep on," Merida said without looking at him.

"No problem." He looked at the sleeping kids. "Let's try to get them a proper home."

"How?" Merida asked.

"Take them to an orphanage for now, and one day maybe we can bring them all back ourselves."

"There's no together, Jacob," Merida scoffed, turning toward him. "I don't want to be with a liar."

"I didn't expect her to show up. The moment I realized it was you — I broke it off. I love you, Merida. I really do. Please—give me another chance." His voice was raw; sadness pooled behind his eyes.

Merida bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She wanted to forgive him — she wanted so badly to — but the memory of him kissing someone else while she waited was too fresh. "I can't. I'm too broken," she said, tears spilling over. "When I saw you with her that night, my chest ached so badly I dropped my sheets. I was hopeful, Jacob. I told myself I wouldn't hope, but I did. I waited."

"I'm sorry. I got caught up— I was confused," he groaned.

"If you were confused you should've told me. Don't leave me waiting!" Merida wiped her face and stood. "I'm going."

Jacob didn't move at first. He sat there, stunned, his mistake written all over him. Then he jerked to his feet and bolted after her. He'd promised to walk her home — he should have at least done that.

Merida walked home through the blurred city, tears fogging her vision. She still loved him, and that love hurt more than anything. She tried to stop herself from going back to the same mistake.

She didn't see the figure blocking her path until she collided with him.

"I'm so—" she began.

It was Leo. Without thinking, Merida threw herself at him and sobbed into his shoulder.

Leo held her steady, rubbing her back. "It's going to be okay," he murmured.

Jacob, running up, stopped dead at the sight: Leo embracing Merida. He looked at them for a long second, and then looked away, as if the sight punched through him. Merida pulled away and looked up at Leo with a small, desperate voice. "Please stay with me. Please love me."

In a moment of dizzy, impulsive hope, she reached up and kissed Leo.

Jacob felt like he couldn't breathe. He turned away, walking like a zombie until he collapsed onto a low wall and slumped there, chest tight. He watched them from a distance, the world narrowing to a single, terrible thought.

"I messed up so badly," he whispered.