The Oath (Kingdom)

IV. Stray dogs

Days passed and Nilah was lonely. Her guts were in tight knot, and she felt heavy pressure on her chest. Like her heart ache.

Yeongshin disappeared.

He didn't completely left. He was still in Hanyang. She knew it. But he was avoiding her.

She sometimes caught a glimpse of him. But when their eyes met, he bowed his head and left. It was like she did something wrong, but she didn't know what.

Seo-Bi was bounding her arms. Her burned hands still hurts. She felt like she was still on fire. Sometimes she woke in the middle of the night patting herself heavy breathing, because she felt the flames licking hungrily her skin again.

And she saw him.

He was sitting on the porch with his trustful rifle in lap. He doesn't have to. He should be resting, but he was there on guard every night.

"He left with other soldiers..." Seo-Bi spoke calmly, when she catch Nilah's desperate look towards door every time someone came. "There was few dead in nearby village. They left to hunt them down." She was covering her skin with healing ointment that brings relief.

"I'm not... It's just..." She mumbled sadly and bowed her head down.

She missed him.

"You like him?" Seo-Bi looked surprised.

"I think...I don't know. I thought I was just used to his presence...but... I never felt this way." She put hand over her aching heart, like if she pushed hard enough it get back to normal.

"I don't know him much. Sometimes I think he is just a ghost. But I think, you should tell him."

"Tell him what? Just pathetic nonsenses?" Nilah herd her father's voice in her head. That she is weak, pathetic waste. And love is for fools. Love doesn't feed you, doesn't keep you warm.

And she heard Harlan. No one will ever love you, like I did. And you will never love someone like you love me!

She thought that her brother was right. He was the only one who ever treated her well. Even if sometimes it was thought love. But then she met Yeongshin and she recognised whole new kind of love. She found desire a longing. She needs him to touch her, to look her in the eyes. When she thought about him kissing her, her heart almost explode. And the warm sensation that filled her body was almost unbearable. She never felt that kind of love to her brother or anyone else.

"It's not pathetic." Seo-Bi brings her back to reality.

"But, he is avoiding me..." Nilah whispered her throat tight.

"I think he is not good with the feelings 'thing'." For the first time Nilah saw Seo-Bi smiled. "He cares about you. Give him time."

~o~

Nigh was dark and cold. Nilah woke up breathless and with beating heart. She had another nightmare where she was on fire and dead boy was ripping flesh from her abdomen. Her wound was still raw and sensitive, and tonight it was more painful. She sat on a bed and rubbed her eyes. In the darkness she saw Yeongshin's silhouette, sitting on the wooden porch.

She reached out for one makeshift crutch and clumsily walked outside. He doesn't lift his head, he probably knew, who is coming. He kept staring at the moon. Face dirty and his body weirdly bent.

"Are you alright?" She whispered, not to wake up sleeping patients. He finally looked at her, eyes heavy.

"I will be..." his voice was tensed.

Then she saw it. His arm was in weird angle in his lap.

"What happened?" Nilah reach out for his arm but he flinched.