kiss me • hyunsung ✔️

four

jisung isn't saying he thinks it would've been better if hyunjin had just remembered the kiss, but he also really hates the fact that even adding on to the other problems regarding the whole situation, the man who'd stolen his first kiss didn't even remember it.

and he's not gonna lie, it's hurts. a lot.

he never wanted to kiss hyunjin. not at all. but the fact that his first kiss was a drunken mistake made by the person he hated most (as if it wasn't bad enough already) pained jisung.

he wanted a do over. so desperately. he didn't want that to be what his first kiss was. sure, he could completely disregard and forget about the kiss, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened. and that doesn't change the fact that whoever he kisses next will be his second kiss.

his first kiss was completely wasted. yeah, it's a first kiss, whatever, for some people it doesn't matter. but jisung was never really affectionate with other people his age (or just people he could be interested in romantically), so for him it was important. he actually wanted the kisses he gave out to be meaningful.

and hyunjin just took his first chance at having a meaningful moment with someone meaningful to him away. sure, jisung did kind of want one of those cute first kisses. it'd be okay even if it was awkward because...it's a first kiss, right? it can't be perfect. he wasn't expecting it to be perfect.

but what he'd ended up getting was possibly the farthest thing from perfect he could've ever imagined.

he's not one for self-pity, but dang.

he wanted that one thing to be meaningful in his life and his roommate who also happened to be his enemy decided to get drunk one night and the consequence was jisung losing his first kiss to someone he despised. and that person didn't even know it happened. he didn't even know what he'd taken from jisung. only jisung remembered. and it was awful.

he hated it. he really did.

just like he hated hyunjin.

and now he hated hyunjin even more than he had before.

hyunjin still hates him too, evidently, given how he'd pushed jisung ruthlessly out of the bed to wake him up, despite the fact that jisung had cried himself to sleep in that very spot, being disgusted with himself and the fact that he'd allowed the past events to even occur. and how hyunjin was also the one who'd practically dragged jisung into the bed in the first place.

and god, the most frustrating part is that jisung is noticing things about hyunjin that he hadn't before. and not in a bad way, like he probably—no, definitely—would've preferred.

he sees how hyunjin's muscles flex whenever he moves. he sees how hyunjin's body seems to fit perfectly in all the clothing he wears. he notices the way hyunjin combs his messy dark hair back with his hands when it falls too far down his forehead. he sees how hyunjin's lips appear so plump as he smirks.

and he hates it. he hates it so much.

and on top of it all, he notices how hyunjin has started avoiding him completely. and he notices the dirty looks hyunjin gives him. it's like hyunjin thinks jisung did something to him that night or something, when reality, it was all hyunjin.

it was hyunjin who'd gotten drunk.

it was hyunjin who'd pinned him against the wall.

it was hyunjin who'd kissed him.

it was hyunjin who'd come to jisung's room, crying, like he was the victim. or because he was guilty, which was impossible.

it was hyunjin who'd thrown up.

it was hyunjin who'd begged jisung to lay with him.

it was hyunjin who'd snuggled up against jisung.

and it was hyunjin who'd pushed him off the bed in the morning.

and jisung? jisung had taken care of him.