kiss me • hyunsung ✔️

nineteen

"w- but-but that's- that's— but jisung is a boy!"

"well, yeah. you're a boy. you can like boys too. it's normal," chan assured.

"i...i've never even thought about my sexuality,"

"well maybe liking jisung is just an awakening,"

"i haven't ever really found boys attractive before," hyunjin hummed, "i'm scared, chan,"

"why are you scared, jin?"

"if...if i like him...i...i do! i like him! what if he doesn't like me back? what if he still secretly hates me? what if he never liked me in the first place and is just pretending?? what if-"

"i'm gonna stop you there," chan held up his hand, "let's not spiral into that,"

hyunjin huffed.

"i can't believe i seriously like him,"

"well it's not bad,"

"i KNOW that! i just...with everything...i feel so bad for what i did. he'd never like me, would he? he's probably pretending. i bet he despises me still. why would he forgive me?"

"jin, just because you stole his first kiss or whatever doesn't mean you don't have a chance. sure, you did some regretful stuff, but he forgave you. i know he did. he genuinely wanted to be your friend. and you definitely have a chance at something more,"

"you really think so?"

"of course!"

hyunjin let the words register in his mind for a moment.

"IT WAS HIS FIRST KISS??" hyunjin exclaimed, jumping up from the couch and putting a hand over his mouth. suddenly his lips had felt so dirty, "i- i stole his first kiss!? when i was drunk?? t-that's why he was so upset, wasn't it?! and then on top of that i was just a jerk...and he- he helped me!!" hyunjin grabbed at his hair.

"you didn't know? i though he would've told you," hyunjin swayed slightly, "woah, hey there," chan jumped up, grabbing at hyunjin's sides and attempting to calm him, "it's alright,"

"chan, where is he now?" hyunjin stared at him frantically.

"well...he..."

"WHERE IS HE??"

chan saw hyunjin was on the verge of tears and told hyunjin that jisung was at their dorm, but he didn't get the chance to tell him seungmin was there too.

in the blink of an eye, hyunjin was out of chan's dorm and running down the hall to his own dorm. he opened the door and saw jisung and seungmin sitting on the couch.

"oh! hi hyunjin," seungmin smiled, "i can go if you want,"

"you don't have to-" jisung started.

"thanks min, i'll explain later," hyunjin huffed.

seungmin smiled again and left the dorm. hyunjin was left standing in the entrance and jisung was sitting up in the couch, alert and slightly shocked and confused.

"what's going on?"

"jisung you..." hyunjin walked over to the couch, frowning, "i'm so sorry," he plopped down onto the couch, grabbing his hair.

"what's all this about? what's going on? hyunjin!?"

"why didn't you tell me it was your first kiss?"

jisung froze and looked down at the ground.

"jisung? why didn't you tell me?"

"i could tell you were upset by what you'd done," jisung's voice was soft, "i was originally going to tell you because i didn't think you'd care, but i was so shocked that you...seemed to feel bad that i didn't want to make you feel even worse,"

"jisung...i...i'm sorry," hyunjin muttered, jisung looking up at him.

"gosh, why are you crying??" jisung reached out to him and wiped his eyes.

"wha- am i?" hyunjin touched his cheeks, and sure enough, he was indeed crying.

"i'm touched that you care so much," jisung whispered, "i really am. i'm honestly...i wanted my first kiss to be save for someone that i loved...but i'm kind of over the main disappointment now," jisung smiled softly.

"still,"

jisung turned to him and simply stared at him for a moment.

"can i hug you?" he asked quietly.

hyunjin responded by wrapping his arms around jisung slowly. he hesitantly closed his arms around jisung's thin waist and pulled him close.

"you know...i really hated you then," jisung giggled next to hyunjin's ear.

butterflies were swarming in both of their stomachs as they breathed softly over each other's shoulders, embracing each other gently.