Bitter Transmutation : Cruel Transformation || Drarry

Part 20

"Make sure you get some rest," Pomfrey said as she dimmed the lights, "Tomorrow will be very busy."

Harry looked up at the ceiling and then across the room at the bed where Draco was sleeping. Draco had been given about five different potions when they reached the hospital wing, ate enough for three people and then immediately went to sleep. Harry had been given one potion and then had to go over everything that happened in agonising detail with an auror writing a report and again when McGonagall came to visit after dinner.

Harry sighed and rolled back onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't relax much less sleep. His body felt tired, but his mind was whirling in circles from everything that happened.

There was a faint creak across the room, and as Harry looked over, he saw Draco get up and pad over to Harry's bed.

"You're-" Harry started as Draco pulled his blankets up and crowded himself onto the bed, "Are you mad? These beds are even narrower than yours," he said under his breath.

"Shall I leave?" Draco asked quietly with a tone that Harry was sure was Draco meant to be entirely guileless, which is why he didn't trust it in the least. He also wasn't going to say no.

"I managed it just fine before," Draco said.

Harry wrapped an arm around Draco as he settled more or less on top of Harry in the narrow bed. "I thought you fell asleep right after dinner."

"And get harassed by people for hours? No, thank you," Draco said.

"You bastard," Harry said.

"It's not my fault you didn't think of it first," Draco said.

Harry grinned ruefully into the darkness.

He could feel Draco's heart beating just below his. Harry combed his fingers through Draco's hair. It felt as silky as it looked and he had a sudden pang of jealousy remembering all the times he saw Parkinson combing Draco's hair, she had always seemed so pleased with herself, so smug-

"Aren't you going to sleep?" Draco asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Harry said.

"All those potions make me feel as if I've had five cups of coffee," Draco said.

That had been hours ago, and Harry was pretty sure potions didn't linger like that unless they were meant to. He had an idea of what the real reason was since Harry was feeling it too, the lingering anxiety and a mind that wouldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened in the forest. He wished he could see Draco's expression, but maybe it was easier to talk about these sorts of things in the dark. "Was that the first time...um.... You- that someone died?"

Draco shuddered against him, his heartbeat picking up.

"We don't have to talk about it, but I sort of know how you feel," Harry said.

After a long pause, Draco said, "...acting like some sort of expert, you only accidentally killed one madman."

"I... I also invoked a life-debt that ended up killing Peter Pettigrew. And..." Harry grimaced, "I got my god-father killed. Everyone says it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't change how it felt, it felt the same."

"I..." Draco hesitated, "I had to crucio people... they didn't always get up, I- I don't know if they were- I don't know. I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah," Harry nodded, "For me, it feels kinda like a lead weight inside, like there's a pit in my stomach that never quite goes away."

"...do you think it will? just....someday."