Strangers to Us

Chapter 8: Passive-Aggressive

As Gulf dashed out of the building, his ear went deaf except for the inner voice that confusingly questioned his sanity.What just happened, Am I sick? Was it because you got too involved with the character? For fuck sake, Gulf, how did a man turn you on... His heart thudded in his chest, the blood pounded in his ears, his entire body began sweating and his vision became all blurry. He had to get away. He could no longer stay there in presence of Mew.

He hired a taxi to get himself home as waiting for his manager would at least take him an hour. And at the moment, he only wanted to get as far away as he can. Taking a long, slow breathe, he relaxed himself on the passenger's seat.

In his entire twenty-one years of his life, he had never been attracted towards men. Even the thought itself had never crossed his mind. Although, he had never discriminated gays nor did he had anything against them, the thought that he possibly could be gay terrified him.

No, no, no, this can't be happening... the voices in his head got louder while his eyes began tearing up. He was scared and at the same time felt so alone as if the whole world has turned its back on him. Will my parents be okay with it? Will Mark be okay with it? The more he thought about it, the worse it became as terror entirely engulfed him.

"Sir, you're here" The driver's voice interrupted this thought.

He quickly paid for his ride and paced off to a shop in the corner within his block. He needed a cigarette to relief his stress. He walked up to the old lady shop in the corner that sold booze and cigarettes in his neighborhood hoping to drain down all his sorrows. It had been a while since he had been here mostly because the shop was always too crowded and did not had a good ambience.

As he stepped into the shop, the first person he encountered was the familiar face of his old school mate, May, who was ordering herself a booze in the counter. Gulf was elated. He needed a female companion desperately to prove himself that all his dreadful worries and thoughts were unnecessary.

"May? " He called out and instantly and May turned to him. The way her thin eyebrows raised and the sweet smile that followed showed she recognized and remembered him.

"Gulf? How are you here? " She asked suspiciously. Given the career Gulf had, no one would have expected to see him in such a lowly maintained pub.

"I just wanted a drink and a cigarette. Do you mind if we share a drink?" He asked in despair but kept his calm on the surface.

May looked at him confusingly as Gulf restlessly stared at her. She was cute. Her round face and her full plum red lips even made her look strikingly sexy, but she was not his type. However, Gulf didn't mind. The last thing he bothered was how attracted he was towards her; he only wanted a woman.

"Sure?" She answered still unsure of herself.

"Alright, let me pay for both of us"

When the lady behind the counter produced few bottles of beer along with a pack of cigarette, Gulf made a quick observation and realized the store did not only had a pleasant atmosphere but even lacked cleanliness. Being the neat person, he was, he felt uncomfortable.

"May, do you want us to go sit at the terrace of that empty building by our school? " Gulf suggested recalling their old school that was not far away from the pub.

It would have been nerve wrecking for him to talk to a girl if it was some other day, but that day he was ready to overlook the uneasy thoughts May might have about him. He did not care whether she assumed he was flirting with her; all he knew was he needed a woman to distract him and his terrifying thoughts.

After a brief thought, May agreed.

As the two finally reached their desired spot, Gulf sat on the edge of the terrace hanging his leg down on the open air and lighted himself a cigarette. May, who closely stood by him leaning on the bar, watched her companion silently wondering about the sudden friendliness the man showed. In their entire two years of being school mates, Gulf was not someone who talked or hanged out with girls except Sally.