⚠️suicide attempt⚠️
Avani's pov:
I look at myself I'm the mirror.
"You're a slut"
"You aren't good enough"
"He doesn't like you, he's using you"
"You're a hoe"
"He doesn't love you"
"Do anything for clout"
"Fucking hoe-bag"
"Slut face"
"Whore"
"Bitch"
"Kill yourself"
"You don't belong here"
"You are annoying"
"Stop trying so hard"
"You are so ugly "
"Clown check, fr tho"
"You try way to hard"
"Please die"
"You suck at life"
"Ew so bad"
"You can't do anything"
"Fuck off"
"You wish you were pretty"
"Charli is so much better than you"
"You have no talents"
"Cheater"
"Liar"
"Stealer"
"Unoriginal"
"Dumb"
"Clout chaser"
"Fuck you"
"No one wants your opinion"
"Leave earth"
"KILL YOURSELF"
I fall to the floor crying. Anthony runs through the door. "Avani, are you ok" he brings me on to his lap. "No, I hate myself" "don't say that, you are the most beautiful, outstanding, amazing girlfriend, and I love you so much" he hugs me tighter. "Do you" I look up "yes of course why wouldn't I?" "My DMs and comments say you are using me" "did I say it?"
I shake my head no. "Then it isn't true, but what is true it that I love you with all my heart and I don't want to lose you again" "Am I not good enough, a slut or whore or hoe? Am I dumb and a liar and cheater, am I ugly and unoriginal. Does everyone wish I was dead?"
"Absolutely no one wishes you were dead, babe you are so perfect don't listen to them, they are just jealous of you because you are gorgeous, talented, sweet, funny, caring, respectful, unproblematic, smart, responsible, incredible, brave, loyal, unselfish, hard-working, considerate, confident, successful, and so much more. Please don't say these things about yourself because you are amazing"
{so is everyone reading this, you are worth it! Keep your head up high and NEVER drop your crown. You are a queen/king and deserve the world, you are so incredibly amazing. Not to mention u are pretty damn cool 😎 have a great day, you are awesome and don't let anyone tell you different! }
"You mean it?" I look up in his eyes. "With all my heart, I would literally die for you"
"I love you so much" I hug him "I love you so much more" he kisses my head. We interlock hands and walk out of the bathroom. "Me josh and Nessa were going to lunch, want to come?"
I nod my head.
"Avani what's wrong" Nessa asks "nothing, I'm fine" I fake a smile. "Ok, let me know if you need anything, I am always here" "love you" I blow a kiss. "Are you guys ready" josh calls from downstairs. "Yes" Nessa says running down the stairs. I sit in the back with Anthony. My notifications go off. I'm being tagged on a Avani hate page. I'm obviously not worth it.
I keep my head on the table the whole time. "Avani what do you want" Josh asks "nothing" I mumble "are you sure you haven't ate all day" Anthony asks "I just haven't been feeling good" "ok it's fine"
*after lunch*
I look in the medicine closet and grab the closest one. I hide it in my hoodie and go to Anthony's bathroom. I take a deep breath and struggle to open the cap. "Open stupid thing"
"Avani what are you doing" Anthony grabs it from my hand. "I'm taking medicine for my stomach ache" "this isn't the type of medicine you should be using and you know that. Please tell me you weren't trying to kill yourself" his eyes tear up. "I can't do it no one likes me" I break down in tears. "I love you, and so does everyone in this house" "I try my hardest and no one seems to care" "I care Avani, I told you already it doesn't matter what people think about you, it matters about what you think about yourself" he hugs me. "Why do some people hate me so much" "because they are jealous"
We stay in a hug for a few minutes. "I love you" I whisper "I love you more"
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
Hey guys I'm back! This is a short chapter but I wanted to base it on self harm because it's a serious thing. Just because someone thinks you aren't good enough doesn't mean it's true. I can tell you right now you are the most amazing person ever. It's okay to not be okay, it's okay to not like how you look for a little. Be confident of yourself! You are beautiful inside and out. I struggled for a little bit but I found something I love to do. For me it practice turns (I'm a dancer) and rollerblading with my family. it cleared my mind off of negativity. Find something you love to do. It might not be "cool" to some people but whatever it is it's AWESOME. You are awesome. Feel free to comment one of your hobbies. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to I'm here, always. ❤️❤️
I hope everyone is doing well, be safe, be confident, he you 🥰
