Two Loves of a Gypsy

8. Beginnings

Gabriel left soon after commenting he would ‘bandage my arm any time I needed it.’ It was kind gesture of good faith. When open the door to our room Alistair was pacing and my father looked anxious. Alistair jumped on me once he saw me and started questioning me. I lied saying I just wanted some fresh air and walked around the block.

“What the hell were you thinking? Particularly from what I’ve been hearing”

“He’s right you could have been shot yourself just for being out there”

“What do you mean? Wouldn’t they only shot because we’re gypsies?” I asked confused by the two of them.

“The guard shot me because I was wondering around at night.” My father explained. Both Alistair and I frowned at him.

Alistair replied first, “I don’t understand”

I answered, “They didn’t shot you because you’re a gypsy?”

My father smiled grimly, “I was going through the town square. I had found that this town was guarded at night but not more than most towns. The guard left, leaving the square clear. I was hoping to get a look at the town hall before we left, maybe I would see one of the duke’s I used to know there. If that was true then I could ask them more about what happened here. I was out in the middle of the square when I heard a bang. There was a man standing in the shadows. I couldn’t see much but I noticed the hilt of a sword on his left side and a gun in his right hand. I remember watching the smoking gun as he put it away and came towards me. He stepped out into the moonlight and I saw his face. It was… no I don’t remember it, if I see him again I would know. I ran for my life, the man didn’t give chase though. I did hear some guards yelling at the man for letting me go. I didn’t hear the man’s answer. The rest goes blurry but I remember collapsing in Val’s arms then waking up in this room. If I hadn’t gone to investigate the town square and the town hall we wouldn’t be in this mess. I’m sorry Val; it is all, my fault.”  I went to my father’s side. I knelt beside his bed and held his hand.

“if it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine for losing this” I pulled the black stone out from under my clothes  and lifted the rope off over my head. I put the stone in his open hand. I faint smile returned to his lips as he felt the warmed stone in his hands. I had almost forgotten about the stone. Its weight no longer felt heavy to me but as it rested in my father’s hand it got lighter.

I like to think of choices as multiple people. They all ask for you to take their hand and trust them. In then end you choose and it’s only after you’ve taken that hand that you see whether this choice was the right one. Some choice hold your hand and take you everywhere and you think that they were the right choice the best choice only to see the person’s hand slip away and leave you stranded with a pack of wolves.  Some choices keep you afloat for longer than others.

There were two, no three people before me. One told me to hand over the blame and to let myself feel unburden by my stupidity. Another told me that we could share the blame, we were equally at fault. But the last one it leapt before me and begged to be heard. I listened and took it’s hand. My other choices waited, hoping I would turn back.

I snatched the stone out of my father’s hand. I shoved it back over my head. The blame was mine and mine alone. I was going to carry it, not a man who can’t even stand yet. I glanced back for a moment and watched and the choices looked at me begged to be saved but within the instant I snatched back the stone they vanished and I was left with the choice I had chosen.

“You’re not to blame and you never will be it was my fault so blame me. Until we leave this place I will never forget it was my stupidity that led to this.” I left slammed the door shut. I leant against the door and Alistair talked to my father. My father replied not to him but to me;