Perception

Chapter1: Sweet Home

It was an ordinary day in Seattle; rain was pouring from the sky like water gushing from a dam. Everyone was either in their homes or trying to get there. I was sitting on the sofa at my mom's house...well my new home. I haven't seen her in almost ten years since she went to rehab for drinking. The last thing I remember about her was that she was controlling and possessive; she wasn't always like that though. My dad leaving triggered something in her and she just changed. I can't explain it but from what I can remember it was like she was another person. She never put her hands on me but the pain she brought to me was worse than any scar would ever be. Yet I still love this woman; I don't blame her for anything. It was my father who abandoned me and turned my mom into a monster. I don't think I'll ever be able to truly forgive him for that.

My grandma was there for me, she took me in and raised me the best she could. I owe her the world for that. But a part of me wonders if she did that because of guilt. It was her son who walked out on his family. That's nothing that can be ignored. It's depressing because he literally abandoned EVERYONE he ever loved. Uncles, cousins, not even his mom has heard from him for years and have no idea where he's at. I just wish my grandma would accept the fact that he's most likely not coming back; he's gone.

I waited ten years for this day and it's finally here, May 22,2013. I kept saying the date in my head. My mom was sitting in front of me; she looks so much different than in the pictures I have of her . Her red hair was no longer shoulder length but down hair back . She used to be so pale but now she is tan; rehab has really help her mentally and physically.

As I sat there anxiously debating on the right words to say, my mom was putting up some of my things. My room was twice the size of my old one at grandma's. The walls were a peanut butter color and the curtains were a dark brown. She sat quietly on the floor organizing my book shelf. " I see you like to read." She said trying to start small talk.

" Yea it's kind of my escape place. I feel like I'm in my own world when I read."

"Wow that's amazing; I wish I would've read more."

We talked for hours about everything. It's crazy how the nervousness went away as soon as she spoked to me. Her presence just makes me feel so comfortable; it's scary. I wasn't expecting things to be so easy between us .

Even though I was on summer break my mom still had to work so the week days were kind of boring. I found myself spending weeks in the library reading hopeless love stories or terrifying thrillers.

One day I walked in on my mom crying. Her face was redder than Snow White's apple. She was embarrassed but still couldn't hold back the tears. I started to tear up too; I was shocked. She grabbed me close and hugged me which caused me to burst into tears." Don't cry sweetheart ," she pleaded as she moved my curly hair away from my face.

"What's wrong?!" I asked.

"I'm fine."

"No secrets," I begged.

"I'm fine; I'm just having a hard time at work."

"What's going on ?"

"I was really depending on this promotion; I was so confident I was going to get it but I didn't."

"Ohh, maybe next time. It's okay mom."

"No it's not. I've been there for a year and they're still treating me like a junkie. It's hard to move on when everyone around me is stuck in the past. The promotion was mine but -"

DING! DING! DING! DING! The oven timer went off interrupting my mom. We were quiet as we walked downstairs to the kitchen. Dinner was uncomfortable; we were both uncomfortable about the crying and just ready for the day to be over.

As days went by, mom's job was getting worse. She felt like an outcast at work ; all her coworkers showed no interest in her. She didn't feel welcomed there but she couldn't quit; her salary was too high to quit over something like this. Eventually things will turn out good I would always tell my mom trying to keep things optimistic.

My mom came running in the house her hair was soaking wet and her hands were full of grocery bags. As I helped unpacked the groceries I notice there was a bag tied up in the corner. It look like she was attempting to hide it which is why I went to see what was inside the bag. Before I had a chance my mom picked it up and went to her room.

At the moment, my life was kind of boring so the bag was the only interesting thing. So I had to find out what was in it. I waited till my mom took a shower because I knew she would be in there for at least thirty minutes. While she was in the shower I quickly examined her room; it was largest in the house. Her walls were a turquoise blue. She had a king sized bed that was covered with so many blankets. I couldn't find the bag; it was probably nothing I thought. I laughed at myself trying to make something out of nothing; that's what boredom does to me.

The next morning mom left for work earlier than usual so I ate breakfast alone. The day was going by so slow." Go outside, meet new people." My grandma would always say. I thought moving in with my mom would give me a chance to reconnect with her, but she's always at work or in her office.

When my mom came home from work she dropped her bags on the wooden floor and threw her coffee cup in the sink. I think she went straight to bed. She was stressed- I could tell. Her eyes tell it all. I decided to help her out around the house so I washed the dishes. When picking up her coffee mug I opened it and smelled it. I love the smell of coffee with hazelnut creamer. Immediately after smelling the cup I dropped it on the white kitchen tiles. My heart started pounding so hard like it was going to burst out of my chest. I wanted to scream but no sound would come out. I couldn't breathe for a moment everything around me was a blur. All I could hear was the big clock in the dining room. TICK! TOCK! TICK!TOCK! It slowly taunted me. I fell to the kitchen floor and closed my eyes. Coffee wasn't in my mom's cup.

Thirty minutes later I was feeling a little better so I got up and went straight to my mom's suit case. I stood there debating on whether or not I should look through it. Curiosity kills, the scary side of me nagged. What if I could prevent something? I grabbed the case and slowly unzipped the bag. There were different color folders neatly organized in alphabetical order; my heart slowed down. I zipped the suitcase and left it how I found it. I picked my mom's purse up off the floor and threw it on the sofa. I heard a liquid sound. " I knew it," I mumbled with great disappointment. I opened the purse while trying to hold back my tears. There it was. Inside her purse was a half a bottle of Hennessey.

Since I barely got any sleep last night, I decided on staying in bed all morning. That didn't last long. DRIP DROP. I must not have turned off the faucet all the way. When I walked in the bathroom it took everything in me not to scream. There were paint brushes in the sink and half empty paint bottles on the counters. There was a picture painted on my shower curtains. The picture was well drawn and I was startled by what was in the picture. It was a dark blue back ground with red splattered everywhere- it represented blood. There was a body a laying there and it was my grandma.