thirty four

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"Heyyy, it's Mother Mary!" my sister crooned into the phone. "Betcha didn't think I'd answer, sis."

I put a finger up to my audience and then covered my free ear, hurrying to the garage where it was the quietest. "Please bring Hank back, Hazel," I said calmly, the complete opposite of what I felt.

She laughed. "How about . . . no," she said languidly. "You can't make me."

Fury crashed through me like a dam bursting with floodwaters. "I will give you a hundred thousand dollars in cash if you come back right now," I whispered, because if I gave voice to my words I would begin screaming at her and no doubt drive her further away. "I swear on Elle."

"Oh wow, so now you're trying to buy my kid? You want Auntie Mary to own you, Hankie?" she asked away from the phone. "Are you property?"

"Annie May!" Hank's tiny voice piped up. "Annie May, dit Hank! Hank all done! Wanna tum home!" He started crying. "Hank 'fraid!"

I would have killed her if she were in front of me, plain and simple. I'd never been so angry at someone in my entire life. "Name your amount," I breathed, but she heard me. 

"Nope," she said joyfully. "Maybe tomorrow, sis. I have money right now. I have the whoooole world in my haaaands!" she sang a little, dropping my heart. "Oh for fuck's sake, Hank, you've turned into such a crybaby. Here's another Hostess cake thingy. Don't tell Annie May it has red food dye in it!" She mock gasped. "And we're not even using a car seat! And Mama's friend is driving so fast. Naughty, naughty! Oops, gotta gooo!"

I had no words, I was strangling on my rage, shaking so hard I could scarcely hold the phone so I just dropped it on Leif's bed. She'd hung up anyway. 

I kicked the drawers under Leif's bed, realized I was barefoot, and brought my fist down on the dresser instead, again and again, because I had no other outlet and the turmoil inside me was all-consuming. At least it was better than punching a wall and leaving my knuckles warped and bloody for the kids to see.

I was facing away from the door but I heard it open and then Halley's arms wrapped around me from behind, preventing me from repeating my motion. She tightened them and then sat, pulling me down sideways on her lap and holding me to keep me in one piece.

I wanted to break everything in the room, I wanted to locate my sister and strangle her so she could never harm her children again, I wanted to have to stop fighting her so hard just to give them a normal life. Tears of pure anger and frustration poured from me while air eluded me. 

"Breathe, sweetie," she said, her right arm around my back, her left hand smoothing my hair back, wiping my tears. "In through your nose," she told me softly, modeling the behavior as she took a deep breath with me. "Out though your mouth."

I grabbed one of Leif's pillows and screamed into it until my throat hurt.

"Shh," Halley soothed, and I marveled at her calm. I knew it was for my sake and I tried to get a grip on my own emotions. "It's going to be okay."

"I hate her," I sobbed, really meaning it, my fists clenched in the pillow, helpless. She could be going anywhere, could be with anyone. All I could hear was Hank's munchkin voice. Dit Hank! Hank 'fraid! I was so grateful Halley hadn't had to hear it too. "I hate her so much."

"I know," she said, through clenched teeth, rocking us a little. "Me too. She'll come back. She will. Or we'll find them. It'll be okay."

I didn't know which of us she was trying to convince.


Charlotte, Joey, and Nate came back from their own last minute Christmas shopping to find the house in chaos, and they helped to feed and put the little kids to bed. Ruby and Gwen went home, and we told my father what was going on, not that he would be of any help. He hadn't seen Hazel in months. 

Mary and Halley (sequel to When Mary Met Halley)Where stories live. Discover now