Make it Worth it

one

i'm on the bus headed to work,

my head aches and my heart is pounding in my chest

i had a long morning, and i'm nervous to go to work for the third time this week

as i grow closer to my stop i can't seem to feel comfortable in my seat

scared to pull the long yellow string lined around the bus, being the only person to stand up and exit

i don't want to draw too much attention to myself

i force myself to lift up my hand and pull the string, signalling to the driver i need to get off

i slowly stand up, putting the strap of my purse around my neck, clenching it tight and out of reach from the creepy old man next to me that's staring

the bus came to an abrupt stop and i almost tumbled over

i began to feel more eyes on me, most likely silently laughing at my clumsiness

i exit the bus, i want to thank the driver but i'm too self conscious of my squeaky voice

i change the song i was listening to through my earbuds, to a cheery song hoping to brighten my mood

i see two guys walking towards me, i remain on my phone and pretend i'm texting someone important

i approach the parking lot of my work and sigh in relief that i arrived there okay

you'll be okay, i try to reassure myself, and i head for the back door to begin my shift

-social anxiety