five

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i'm in the car with my mom, sitting beside her in the passenger seat

i'm playing my spotify playlist that only contains songs of sadness

i want my mom to know that i'm not okay, but i don't know how to tell her

would she believe me? or would my thoughts of death scare her?

i begin to speak with every intention of telling her that i'm saddened by life

but i choke on my worry and begin to talk about my favourite book instead

though i mentally pray that she will listen to the music i play, and understand that the lyrics are a comparison to what i don't have the heart to tell her

-girl with undiagnosed depression

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