Intentional Mistake | ON-GOING

6

Nang makapasok ako ay agad niyang sinarado ang pinto. I stared at the room for a while. It's soothing. The lights were dimmed inside but it's enough to light up the whole room. There's a giant flatscreen tv there. Two couches, almost a bed sa sobrang lapad. Between the two couches is small center table. May mga libro and magazines sa ilalim nito. On the left side, sa taas ng left couch, makikita mo ang mga frames, they were paintings. Wow!

"What place is this?" I asked Ali, praising the whole room.

"My other room. More like an entertainment room... But I also do study here..." He told me as I see a study table and a bookshelf sa gilid. Ang ganda dito!

"I'm loving this place..." I said. Nakatayo pa rin kami sa isang gilid. Tumingin naman siya sa akin.

"I also love this..." Sabi niya nang hindi inaalis ang titig sa akin. Umupo ako sa isang couch. Tumabi naman siya sa akin. Napatitig ako sa mata niya. Seeing his eyes inside this room, damn. I'm lost of words.

"Aren't we gonna talk yet?" I suppressed a little smile, somehow nervous.

"Didn't know that you're that comfortable with me..." Sabi niya na agad nagpalito sa akin. My face started to question what he said.

"Are you so comfortable with me that you managed to... to-... fuck... fuck it!" He said. Ni hindi niya matapos ang kanyang sinasabi. I do get it tho. Yung kaninang nangyari sa kwarto niya. Stupid me. He looked scary saying those words.

"I- I'm sorry..." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Heck, I even stuttered. "It was almost a dress for me so I- I didn't think that it would affect you that much... I'm sorry..." Dugtong ko.

"Can we now talk about the fight between you and Jacob?" Pag-iiba ko ng usapan but I can still feel my chest beating so bad.

Nakaharap na siya sa akin ngayon. I stared at his eyes. We stared at each other for a moment.

"Why did you two fight?" I asked. He swallowed. I saw how his adam's apple moved.

"Because of you..." Deretso niyang sagot. I blinked twice to process what he just said. Because of me?

"W-what?" I bit my lower lip waiting for his answer.

"I haven't thought that this feeling was going to be this heavy. First year, I thought it was just a crush. I let it slipped coz I knew how Jacob liked you so much. Come to think of it, Seah. We are friends. We're bestfriends. Akala ko mawawala rin 'tong andito..." Turo niya sa dibdib niya. I looked at his eyes. Sobrang amo nito. I'm so lost for words. Tanging kabog lang ng dibdib ko ang naririnig ko sa sarili ko.

"I thought seeing Jacob being happy with you will eventually remove this aching pain inside me, kasi kaibigan ko yun e... dapat masaya ako kung saan siya masaya, but I was wrong. The pain was constant, lalo pa nga atang sumakit. I fucking hate it. I didn't like it coz I feel like... I'm not allowed to have someone who I love..." Hindi ko alam pero naiiyak ako sa mga sinasabi niya.

"I had a talk with Jacob. That's the fight you were saying. Don't worry, we didn't fight physically. I told him... I told him everything." He sniffed. Pulang pula ang mukha niya ngayon. I can't tell if his eyes are teary or it was just because of the light. I held his hand.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked softly.

"Fuck... This is so gay" Binawi niya ang kanyang kamay sa akin at pinahid ang mata.

"Hindi naman kita pinipilit na sabihin lahat... It's okay, Ali" I said.

"No, Seah. I want you to hear everything..." He looked into my eyes as he held both of my hands pero binitawan niya din ito kaagad.

"I love you so much... So damn much." Malambing at mahina niyang sinabi. Malapit nang kumawala ang nagbabadyang luha sa aking mga mata.

"But-..." Pinutol niya ang sasabihin ko. I sighed as my tear fell down.

"Hush, baby... I can't stand seeing you like this." He wiped my tear with his thumb. His palms were now on my cheeks. His eyes were never leaving mine.

"I know... But-... But Jaco-..." He silenced me using his right index finger.

"Kayanga ako guilty. He deserves you more. He's showy when it comes to you. Pero ako?... I act so cold that no one thought I could be warm." Tuloy-tuloy ang pagbagsak ng aking mga luha. I feel like he needs a hug so I gave him a tight one. I felt how he stiffened pero unti-unti niya akong niyakap pabalik. I'm slowly tapping his back while my chin is resting on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way... I'm sorry, Ali..." Sinabi ko 'yon kahit na ang boses ko'y basag dahil sa pag-iyak.

"Don't be sorry. In fact, I should be the one saying that to Jacob." He brushed his fingers through my hair.

"He said that I could have you..." Bumitiw ako sa yakap.

"Did he?" I asked him. Imposible, ang dali naman.

"He mean it, but he has his condition..." I was seriously looking at him. A little nervous.

"What condition?" I asked.

"That I should never hurt you or else he'll beat the shit out of me..." He laughed a bit. I almost did too.

"I love you, Seah..." He said softly while caressing my right cheek.

"I really don't know what to say, Ali..." I hold his hand that was caressing my cheek.

"It's okay, no forcing. I just want you to know..." Lumapit siya sa akin. I felt a soft warm thing on my right temple. Nanigas ako sa ginawa. He just kissed my temple.

All I know right now is that my heart is pounding fast, it feels like I'm barely breathing, but I love the feeling.