A flower is my only weakness •Ryden•

White

The park was silent. It never happened before. Cold breeze flew through the trees, as the people walked past, slowly and unknown, the darkness covering them, protecting their eyes from the unwanted tragedy. They didn't know what happened there, nobody knew.

He lied to her. He needed to. The pain was unbearable. He didn't know where he was going, until he reached to gate of a little park, hidden from the eyes, silent, mourning. He looked around, unable the recognise the place. It can't be it. It can't. It just didn't fit. He shook his head, then pushed the gate open. He felt a strange connection to this unknown little park, like something was in there, something that could reattach the strings, something that could make his heart whole again. He looked up, the moon was shining bright, silently judging, but pointing at a tree in the middle of the lake, then he turned around, the clouds covering him again. Brendon looked at the tree, and his heart sank deeper than ever before. He needed to get there. Now or never.

Blue, pink and yellow.

He was there. More likely, his presence was there. There was no cross, no grave, no messages about his life, his deeds or his family. But the flowers, they were there. They were always there. Brendon looked at the ground. He didn't deserve this. He deserved so much more. The kindness in his eyes was too much for this cruel, dark world. They didn't understand him. They didn't deserve him.
Brendon picked up the roses. He needed them. He needed him. He needed Ryan.

Ryan

The name echoed in his mind. The memories suddenly invading him, almost sending him to the ground. The coffeeshop, the pavement, the wedding, the blue, the pink and the yellow, the pain, the love and the loss, Brendon, Sarah and Ryan. He saw them, he saw all of it.

He looked down again. Maybe he's still there.

Anger suddenly taking over, he dropped the roses and started to dig, with his bare hands, dirt under his nails, on his hair, his clothes, but he felt it, he felt him, the pain behind his big brown eyes.

And as suddenly as it came, the anger went away, leaving only sadness, and confusion behind. Why? Why him? He looked down, his hands were bleeding. Ryan wouldn't want this. Ryan wanted him happy. Ryan loved him.

Ryan loved him.

He slowly stood up, gathering up the roses he dropped just a minute ago. The roses. He couldn't leave them here. He looked up, seeking for approval, for some sign, that Ryan is here, that Ryan's with him, that he was allowed to hold the roses.

But as the cold breeze hit his face, he realized Ryan was never there, on the little island in the middle of the lake.

Brendon turned around, facing the cold, dark water, still holding the roses, but hesitating. Is this what Ryan wants?

He didn't want to let him go, the boy, who turned his life upside down, made his dreams come true, then shattered his heart without even knowing about it.

He took a deep breath, and looked up at the moon again. It is time for letting go.

Blue

Tears were running down his cheeks.

Pink

His heart missed a beat, he couldn't look.

Yellow

His hands were shaking. Ryan never gave him the yellow rose. He never had the chance.

He sank down next to the tree, hands empty, heart's racing, tears choking him, suffocating sweetly, as he looked down, to see something he couldn't believe.

Ryan

Blue

Pink

Yellow

White

It was white.

Brendon slowly stood up, looking at the pure whiteness, admiring the presence of the boy, admiring Ryan, admiring his love.

He found himself at the gate. This is the end. He knew, he'll never see this place again. He looked at the tree, on the little island, in the middle of the lake, just to find out, it was gone. Or maybe it was never there. He didn't know, but it didn't matter.

And as he was walking down the street, he noticed something in the middle of the road. A white rose was laying on the ground, unnoticed by everyone else, but him. Brendon shook his head, smiling, then took the rose in his hands. And when Sarah opened the door, pressing a kiss on his lips, he just took the rose and with a smile on his face, he whispered:

"I brought this for you"