Falling For Heartbreak- NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON & KINDLE

Chapter 1

2nd January 2024

Dear readers,

The stupid line blinks at me, waiting for me to type the following words. I absentmindedly tap my fingers on my keyboard, hoping for inspiration, but nothing. Pursing my lips, I wrack my brain to try and find the right words.

How on Earth can I sum up this story?

It needs to come with a warning, not a welcome.

Feeling frustrated, I slam my laptop shut and walk away from my desk. Grabbing my empty coffee mug, I head to the kitchen where the light shining through the window is too bright for how I feel. I want to close all the blinds and crawl back into my warm, comfy bed. Adding my mug to the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, I ignore my responsibilities and settle on my sofa to watch another rerun of Friends.

My stomach rumbles, reminding me I'm still human and need to eat. I reluctantly drag myself off my sofa and check my kitchen cupboards for something to cook. The empty shelves mock me as a reminder of how empty my real life is. I shut the third cupboard with more force than necessary. Unwilling to leave the comfort of my home, I retreat to my seat and forget about eating altogether.

I try my hardest to focus on the screen but feel exhausted. Last night was yet another sleepless night. Those final moments with him replayed on a loop as I tried to see how I missed the signs. My eyes feel heavy, and I slowly give in, risking being plagued by dreams where he is still here.

* * *

I lift my head and groan from the ache in my neck from sleeping awkwardly on the sofa. With the sun down, the room is dark except for the small light from the television. My Friends rerun has paused, with Netflix asking if I am still here watching.

I don't think I'm even really living anymore.

With silence as my only company, I look around the room that was once filled with laughter, chatter, and people. The echoes of the past are too much to bear, so I stand up and head for the shower.

Stripping off my clothes, I embrace the cold air as if it can make me forget the pain consuming me. I look at my reflection. The permanent ink sprawled under my ribs is a reminder of temporary people. My eyes look more prominent than usual, displaying my pain. The green has faded, and the grey is more pronounced, making them look lifeless. My hair is flat, overgrown, and tangled, so different from how it used to be. Running my fingers over my cheeks, I realise how sunken, sullen, and colourless they are. My cheeks used to be flushed and ached from smiling and laughing. My lips are chapped and set into a frown.

I look like a corpse.

Who is this girl?

She looks sad, broken and just hollow.

Is this who I am now? A shadow of who I used to be? A shell of the girl that loved life and believed in love? Will I ever find the old me, or is she gone and buried?

Unable and unwilling to answer those questions, I give my reflection one last look before getting into the shower.

My eyes burn from yet another session of crying in bed. I shove the papers to the back of the drawer, wishing I could forget about them altogether. But I can't. Every word is engrained in my brain, a consequence of torturing myself by reading it every night.

It is all lies.

Tonight, anger settles into my heart.

I want to cry and scream. I want to throw everything that reminds me of him against the wall and watch it break the same way he broke me. I want people to understand my heartbreak. I want to understand how I got here.

Where did it go wrong?

Wiping my tears, I open my laptop and vent the only way I know how.

Dear readers,

Thank you for choosing to read this book. Thank you for choosing to follow this story. I want to welcome you, but first, I must warn you. This book does NOT have a happy ending. This book is going to break your heart into tiny little pieces.

But first, it will make you fall in love.

Because love is a set-up for heartbreak.

Let us start at the beginning. This story begins and ends with him. And who is the 'him' I am referring to?

Jason Finnegan-Hart.

My name is Avalanna Christie Brooks, and this is how I fell for heartbreak.