Risk it with You

Prologue

At the age of 15, I already know my type. Way older than me. More mature. The serious one.

Although I believe that all of us have the capability to cheat on the process of loving someone, I know deep inside, I know within me that I'm a sucker for happy endings. A happy life with my love one.

It's too early to think about this. I think I'm not yet capable of loving someone romantically. I still believe that we're sometimes mistaken that kindness is love.
Happiness is love.
Sympathy is love.
Pity is love.
And in the end it gives us false hope. False hope that awakens our bitter hearts, anger hearts.

"Sige na kase Reign, just once, please?" Pilit sakin ng best friend ko. I told her that I'm not found of blind dates. More so if the person she just met is from an app. I don't trust people much. I dont even trust some of my close friends. What more for a guy who's not familiar?

"I told you that I'm not interested, Zain! Besides, it's already rainy season. Alam mong gusto ko lang i enjoy ang ulan sa bahay. Let me have my peace!"

Somehow, I've grown to love the rain. I don't know if it's because it's similar to my name. It calms me. The raindrops are not silent nor noisy. It feels like I'm not alone. It consoles me for unknown reason. I like the feeling that the rain gives. It gives me peace of mind.

But I certainly don't like rains with thunders and lightning. Parang pinaparusahan.
Parang may pinaparusahan ang Diyos at tila galit na galit. Parang ang napakagandang bagay ay nahaluan ng bayolente.

Ni minsan hindi ko pinangarap magkaroon ng kahit anong ugnayan sa isang taong manloloko at bayolente.

You can forgive someone who's not brave enough for you. You can tolerate a coward lover. But you can't certainly forgive a cheater and an abuser.

Tolerating those kind of people is less than me.
So I admire and pity those who can keep up and forgive someone who can hurt them.
Forgiving and forgetting people who hurt you is beyond anyone's logic.

"Kasama naman ako eh! We'll go if they look bad! I swear! Hindi ka mapapahamak! And I think naman he is nice. I'm bored na! Baka sabihin 'di pa ako move on kay Kenneth kase walang pamalit!"

"You can find someone na 'di galing sa dating app! Seriously, Zanaya Ines? You're really pushing this? He looks nice? Why, did you already met him? You can't judge someone based from their social media! For pete's sake walang totoong pinapakita sa social media. Zain, 'di ba may mga ka chat ka naman ah? Nagsawa ka na ulit?" Inis kong sabi dahil hindi parin ako neto tinatantanan.

"Actually, hindi ko pa siya nakikita. Kaya nga isasama kita kase baka mapahamak ako at masa-"

"Masamang tao! Malamang Zain! Andaming crime na nangyayari ngayon and karamihan dahil sa ganitong set up."
I interrupted her for her to shut her mouth.

"Just this once. Gustong gusto ko kase talaga siya Reign. He's sweet sa chat. And goodness he knows how to make someone blush. Mind you 'di pa kami nagkikita niyan."

Ni rarason parin n'ya iyan.
Ang daling mabola! Hindi na natuto eh.
Pare pareho ang mga 'yan.
Sa una magaling.
Sa una tapat.
Sa una hindi ka sasaktan. Mahirap maging consistent dito sa mundong ito. Kailangan na nating tanggapin iyan.
Loyalty? Faithfulness?
The millennium already know that in this generation those words were already extinct. When our forefathers and foremothers died, dinala na nila sakanilang mga libingan ang nga salitang iyan.

Oh! I won't ask for forgiveness. Stereotypes? No! More like stating a fact. Kase walang tao ang hindi nagpapadala sa temptation. Walang taong hindi nasisilaw sa panlabas na anyo.